Top 10 Sam Kinison Quotes

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Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.

Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. That's a tough crowd.

Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

I'm attracted to heartbreakers.

Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'

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