Josh Billings Quotes

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There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

You'd better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain't so.

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

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