Joke Quotes
Most Famous Joke Quotes of All Time!
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The running joke about the Premio Cervantes, the most coveted literary prize in the Spanish-speaking world, which was established by Spain's Ministry of Culture in 1976, is that Cervantes himself wouldn't have received it. This is because he was, in his heart, the most anti-Spanish of Spanish writers.
Every joke in 'The Office' was unexpected. I cringed; I could hardly look. I cried with laughter.
A lot of the joke of 'The Windsors' is this ridiculous idea of what might happen behind closed doors.
There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke.
Tool of Communist agitators... it's really a joke, isn't it? Because, quite clearly, we are a party of real moderates. It just shows how little they understand.
A lot of times in movies, especially in sequels, the characters become caricatures and just sort of improv machines and joke machines, rather than people you can actually connect to.
Everyone's life would be improved if they do could one great magic trick. And tell one great joke, play one tune on the piano, and do one great origami fold.
The joke may be that no one likes fruitcake, but if that were the case, they wouldn't appear on store shelves every holiday season!
I used to joke that I came to England - not to the U.S. where most Koreans go - because I like Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie.
The joke is that no matter how much we think we can evolve, we'll never escape our limitations.
I typically start out almost every speech I give making some kind of joke about me being in a wheelchair.
I like to joke that I already married a 26-year-old and divorced a 29-year-old, so I wasn't going to do that again when I got remarried.
What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke?
I joke that being a university president is akin to being a pinata. But there are also notions of redemption.
We didn't have electricity when I was a kid. We had to watch TV by candlelight. No, that's a silly joke.
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
The average British person would hear me doing my joke about Rebecca Adlington and realise there's no malice in it. It was an off-the-cuff ad lib.
The whole westward expansion myth is seen as romantic. But it's a joke, a blot on American history.
My chicken ain't no joke. I ain't scared to go up against the Colonel, tastewise.
There is a standard joke in the family. Probably we should go into selling second-hand shoes.
The girl-next-door image is a sort of joke; for years, I couldn't get any roles other than as somebody dark.
Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.
As a director, you can't stop a guy if he thinks something's hysterical, because if you do, then he'll get depressed because he thinks he didn't come up with a good joke. So if a guy's going on some run and it's killing him, and he thinks it's hilarious, you gotta do enough so that he thinks you can use it in the movie.
I'm surrounded by women whose style I admire. It's natural to be inspired. I'm not a horrible copycat, or if I am, then I admit it and make a joke about it.
I'd been shy since childhood, constantly full of self-doubt. And as an actor, I'd been so scared of failing that I made my career - and myself - a big joke.
It is fun to see a comedy in which every single joke hasn't been packed into the trailer.
There's a joke in my family that I'm going to make a career out of playing other people's younger selves.
I'm not interested in being the damsel in distress; I want someone who has her own storyline and her own mission - not a woman who, to use a comedy term, is just there to provide the feed line to someone else's joke.
I remember I would always joke among my friends about a remake of 'Point Break'. I would say, 'You know what? Whenever there's a remake of 'Point Break', I'm going to do it.'
So, whenever Scooter was the Pilot, he never had a chance to fly the orbiter. So, the joke is: I'm going to have a chance to fly it first and hand it over to him.
Slavery is nothing to joke about. The history of this nation's involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.
My writers on 'Liv And Maddie' have started a running joke to try and sneak as many 'literally's into the script as they can to throw me.
If the clockwork universe equated the human body with the mechanics of the clock, the digital universe now equates human consciousness with the processing of the computer. We joke that things don't compute, that we need a reboot, or that our memory has been wiped.
I'm a professional hanger outer. I'm a super liability, too. I joke around, and I'm like a hyperactive child.
I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much.
At first, after my freshman year, it was kind of a joke, going into my sophomore year like, 'Hey, I wanna graduate in three years, two-and-a-half.' And we were just kind of playing with it, added some extra classes in, and then once I finished that following spring going into that next summer, it was just like, 'Hey, I can actually do it.'
My Auntie CeCe - I can kind of joke and say all I need to do is pray. But that's literally what she does... She lives what she sings. I've learned a lot about her in that way, so in bringing her to the stage, I knew what sort of demeanor she needed to have. Her songs are very reflective of who she is in real life.
I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.
Everybody wants me to finally close the curtain on the joke that is the Audley Harrison show.
Among the radio astronomers of SETI - the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence - it's only sort-of a joke that the true hallmark of intelligent life is the creation of radio astronomy.
Because many squid have brain nerve fibres that are hundreds of times thicker than those of humans, neuroscientists have long used them for research. These nerve fibres have led to so many breakthroughs in the study of neurons that many scientists joke that the squid should receive a Nobel Prize.
I really like comedy. There's always a choice, when you're writing: you can either go for the joke or you can go for the story, the important stuff.
No Barstool writer has ever said or written one thing out of hate or anger. It's always to get a joke.
It was that famous joke: What's the last thing the drummer said before he got kicked out of the band? 'Hey, I wrote a song.'
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.
I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.
For years and years, I was beset with snide remarks by certain members of the press, where they would turn John Oates into a joke, or they would trivialize what I do, which never really bothered me all that much.
Sometimes when I'm performing, whenever my puppet cracks a joke, it actually makes me laugh.
There aren't plus-sized teens represented in film who aren't made the butt of a joke.
The most surprising thing - and the thing I really didn't think I would have an opportunity to do when I was younger - was I didn't realize the kind of roles I would be able to play. I thought it would be, like, two lines here, the joke.
I used to joke I was a point-and-click actor. My whole process has been about trusting your instincts and hitting your mark.
Describing comic sensibility is near impossible. It's sort of an abstract silliness, that sometimes the joke isn't the star.
Whenever we're on the red carpet, we look like competition winners. It's a joke.
I think one of the funniest things about '30 Rock' is that Liz Lemon is sort of like Buster Keaton - she's always the fool, the joke is always on her.
That whole 'Bo' Selecta!' thing was damaging. I played along with it; I said it was cool, I can take a joke, roll with it, so I went on the show. But it was killing me.
The joke I always make is I'm either running for reelection, running for Senate, running for governor, or running for my life. The latter is also a viable possibility.
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a joke - the fact that Madonna is in before Rush and Kiss. Those two bands have influenced so many groups and people other than in metal.
It's easy to say, 'This is just a joke.' You know, the bearded lady? And I feel the need to smash it with every performance just because I want to be clear this is not a joke.
I do find myself surprised by the comedy shows that seem to have the same joke week in week out.
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.
I always joke around with my parents and say that if Hollywood doesn't work out I'll go to Broadway!
Shore Leave is the one who evolved the most - because he started as a one-off joke because we were gagging on how the G.I. Joe vocationally specific-themed characters reminded us of the Village People. We made a sassy Village People kind of guy, and then we brought him back.
U.S. soldiers, with whom I now have more than a passing acquaintance, joke that they track my movements in order to know where they will be deployed next.
When I was working with Barry Sonnenfeld, I'd watch him set up a shot and talk to him about what he was seeing and what it was to shoot comedy. He told me that a lot of times with comedy, it's not just about getting the joke, but getting a reaction to the joke. That's the laugh - it's somebody's else's reaction to the joke.
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