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Joke Quotes

What comedians say about making people laugh.

Several quotes here come from people who make a living off timing, including one who admits to softening blunt criticism by wrapping it in humor first, describing it like a cut followed by a few stitches. Another describes the frustrating double standard where the exact same line lands only when a man delivers it.

I joke with my kids, who love history, that I'll be the only governor to be elected twice in his first term.

Quotes by Scott Walker

I get a kick out of replying to people on Twitter sometimes if I make a joke.

Quotes by Scott Rogowsky

I like to joke with my wife that she's the CEO of... certainly of our household.

Quotes by Scott Pruett

Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the joke and it's nice to be the one that is the joke and it's nice to do something...

Quotes by Sarah Michelle Gellar

I'm not a yes person, whether it's about a tie choice or a joke.

Quotes by Sarah Huckabee Sanders

I'm not the type of person who thinks up a joke and has to tell everyone.

Quotes by Samuel Larsen

There was the joke about Switzerland being an island surrounded by land. This was never true.

Quotes by Samuel Schmid

When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke.

Quotes by Sally Phillips

At nine, my mom used to tell me she saw an Olympic medalist in me. I used to take it as a joke, but she was very serious.

Quotes by Saina Nehwal

To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it's kind of patronizing.

Quotes by Sacha Baron Cohen

Whenever my family brought up the topic of my marriage, I'd joke that I would marry only a princess.

Quotes by S. Sreesanth

Am I over existing or am I over existing? That's my inside joke.

Quotes by Ryan Trecartin

Wearing heels is no joke.

Quotes by Ryan McCartan

There was a joke going around campus when I was at Washington State. It went, 'What's the difference between God and Ryan Leaf?' The punchline was, 'God doesn't think he's Ryan Leaf.'

Quotes by Ryan Leaf

We need to get rid of the Federal Elections Commission. It's a joke. It doesn't enforce the law.

Quotes by Russ Feingold

In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.

Quotes by Roseanne Barr

I don't want to ever tell a stereotype joke for the sake of it. I'm going to tell the story that I feel is true.

Quotes by Ronny Chieng

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

Quotes by Ronnie Barker

Most people are used to the T.V. comedy method of one joke every 18 seconds. And that's why it's not funny... There's no time for anything to develop.

Quotes by Ron Shock

I can't write a joke. I could never write. I do a lot of stories and I call them stories, but they're just comedy recitals on a given subject.

Quotes by Ron Shock

Frequently Asked Questions

What's this collection's overall take on jokes?
It's mostly about the craft and experience of joking, from happily owning being "a ham" who likes "to joke around," to more self-aware reflections on how jokes actually land.
Does any quote talk about how a joke is delivered?
Yes - one quote describes a deliberate technique for softening criticism: "I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke," following a hard truth with humor.
Is there a quote about gender differences in comedy?
Yes, one speaker observes a double standard they experienced firsthand: "A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh," presented as their own personal observation.
Is there a quote about not understanding your own comedic effect?
Yes - one speaker admits, "I do things, and other people laugh at them. I rarely know what the joke is supposed to be or why they're laughing," a candid, self-deprecating take on being funny by accident.
Where can I find more quotes purely about humor and wit?
See the Humor and Wit quote collections.

One quote is almost a shrug, from someone who says they rarely understand what people find funny about their own material even as others laugh along. For more on comic timing and mood, see our humor quotes and laughter quotes pages.