Joke Quotes
What comedians say about making people laugh.
Several quotes here come from people who make a living off timing, including one who admits to softening blunt criticism by wrapping it in humor first, describing it like a cut followed by a few stitches. Another describes the frustrating double standard where the exact same line lands only when a man delivers it.
I joke with my kids, who love history, that I'll be the only governor to be elected twice in his first term.
I get a kick out of replying to people on Twitter sometimes if I make a joke.
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I like to joke with my wife that she's the CEO of... certainly of our household.
Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the joke and it's nice to be the one that is the joke and it's nice to do something...
There was the joke about Switzerland being an island surrounded by land. This was never true.
When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke.
At nine, my mom used to tell me she saw an Olympic medalist in me. I used to take it as a joke, but she was very serious.
To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it's kind of patronizing.
Whenever my family brought up the topic of my marriage, I'd joke that I would marry only a princess.
There was a joke going around campus when I was at Washington State. It went, 'What's the difference between God and Ryan Leaf?' The punchline was, 'God doesn't think he's Ryan Leaf.'
We need to get rid of the Federal Elections Commission. It's a joke. It doesn't enforce the law.
I don't want to ever tell a stereotype joke for the sake of it. I'm going to tell the story that I feel is true.
The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.
Most people are used to the T.V. comedy method of one joke every 18 seconds. And that's why it's not funny... There's no time for anything to develop.
I can't write a joke. I could never write. I do a lot of stories and I call them stories, but they're just comedy recitals on a given subject.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What's this collection's overall take on jokes?
Does any quote talk about how a joke is delivered?
Is there a quote about gender differences in comedy?
Is there a quote about not understanding your own comedic effect?
Where can I find more quotes purely about humor and wit?
One quote is almost a shrug, from someone who says they rarely understand what people find funny about their own material even as others laugh along. For more on comic timing and mood, see our humor quotes and laughter quotes pages.
