Roseanne Barr Quotes

Most Famous Roseanne Barr Quotes of All Time!

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You can't break through Hollywood formulaic points of view. I've tried, and I think I was more successful than anybody at doing it.

I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S.

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There is no real third party in America. There's this one party that has two sides to it - the Democratic and Republican side. It's one party that has two heads.

In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.

I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.

I wish I'd done a tenth year of the 'Roseanne' show.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.

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