Joke Quotes
What comedians say about making people laugh.
Several quotes here come from people who make a living off timing, including one who admits to softening blunt criticism by wrapping it in humor first, describing it like a cut followed by a few stitches. Another describes the frustrating double standard where the exact same line lands only when a man delivers it.
My music has a high irritation factor. I've always tried to say something. Eccentric lyrics about eccentric people. Often it was a joke. But I would plead guilty on the grounds that I prefer eccentricity to the bland.
Following well-established national security screening procedures and accurately informing Congress about them is not a joke or a political game. It is essential to guaranteeing that our national secrets are protected and to preventing possible blackmailing of key administration officials.
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No-one wants to hear a crude joke at the expense of the Principal, or the Bridegroom, or the head of the company. Well, they do, but wait ‘til you’re offstage then WhatsApp it to everyone instead.
In 1975, I left the burning city of Beirut for the quiet insanity of England. To say that short, frail and wispy 15-year-old me didn't fit in would be such an understatement as to be a joke.
I couldn't afford to get sick in prison. My sickle cell is no joke, so I couldn't eat poorly or not exercise. And everything in jail is designed to do the exact opposite.
Historically, Heathrow has been something of a joke, outweighed by its excellent connections. We have to aspire to having an airport at Heathrow with two runways which is a world-class airport. It's a big challenge.
Somebody from Pitchfork Festival wanted me to have a Microphones reunion. It's a joke. It's just me.
I've made a lot of grown men cry with laughter, because I really am quite the joke.
For the amount of talent I had - and I couldn't dance, act, or tell a joke - I enjoyed a tremendous career.
A lot of comedies fall apart because they just go from joke to joke, and the characters are all sort of being crazy off on their own.
What you never want to do is have a story that doesn't track emotionally, because then you're going joke to joke and you're going to fatigue the audience. The only thing that's going to string them to the next joke...
The term 'steampunk' itself, now a badge of honor, began as a putdown, a joke. But like 'Big Bang' in cosmology, the diss became the standard.
They all want to be me. They do! What everybody else says they will do, I've already been doing. They all want to be me. It's become a joke in Congress how Dr. Gingrey and Mr. Kingston have been following...
I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.
I'm probably the guy who keeps it loose around the room and tries to joke around with guys before the game, keeping things funny.
I love to play the game, love to be around the rink, and love to joke around with my teammates and have some fun.
I'd come from the bottom of the barrel. Just Owen Hart getting out of the shadow of Bret Hart's little brother. Everyone figured, this is a joke, Owen's going to get squashed.
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What's this collection's overall take on jokes?
Does any quote talk about how a joke is delivered?
Is there a quote about gender differences in comedy?
Is there a quote about not understanding your own comedic effect?
Where can I find more quotes purely about humor and wit?
One quote is almost a shrug, from someone who says they rarely understand what people find funny about their own material even as others laugh along. For more on comic timing and mood, see our humor quotes and laughter quotes pages.
