Joke Quotes
Most Famous Joke Quotes of All Time!
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I have no idea how to use social media for anything other than forwarding a good fart joke.
I'm still no good at ball-and-stick games. If I go play golf with the guys, it's intended to be a joke.
A novel wouldn't be a book if there weren't some flights of fancy on the part of the author, stopping time to examine things, or to tell a joke.
I didn't just want to be Frank's daughter who sang Boots. I take my music very seriously and studied very hard. It's not a joke to me.
I always joke that I'm a British actress trying to break into Scandinavian TV.
I was afraid no one would laugh, and I wanted to pretend I wasn't noticing the audience. I didn't want the audience to get the idea I was telling a joke and waiting for a laugh.
There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.
It would be a joke to compare Gerd Muller to other strikers. What he achieved, the number of games and the goals scored, is unique. That's what I have told him in person.
Most shows find themselves descending into sentimentality or earnestness at some point but, with 'Community,' the joke is always on.
The producers want us to sell, sell, sell. That's my little joke. That's what we do by day; by night, we're artists.
I think I'm a good joke writer. I'm also very scared that the last joke I wrote is the last joke I'll ever write.
Some comedy has turned into, 'Donald Trump's bad, isn't he?' That's a true statement. But where is your joke?
Dan Brown and the 'Da Vinci Code' have been around well over a decade now, and to be perfectly honest, both he and it have become a joke.
I often joke that I could write 'War and Peace' and make it sound like Geri Halliwell wrote it.
I think you make better jokes when you don't break logic for the joke, unless you make a movie just about jokes.
I used to joke that if acting didn't work out, poetry was my commonsense fallback.
Everyone recognizes that's a joke because obviously the number and shape of the pieces doesn't affect the size of the pizza. And similarly, the stocks, bonds, warrants, etc., issued don't affect the aggregate value of the firm.
When somebody says something as a joke, the British press take things and twist them.
The fact is, the Middle East has been going crazy for 50, 60, 70 years. So it's not like, 'Oh, I need an ISIS joke.'
I've been writing joke songs since I was a kid and it served me well at S.N.L. I can write those in my sleep. In fact, I have.
It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.
Most of my standup is about stuff that makes me uncomfortable. There are also things I don't joke about. I don't do jokes about the people who helped me get sober.
It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination.
I'm not the comedy police, but you watch a movie, and everyone's laughing, and then you shake it out, and you realize, 'There's no joke there!'
When I'm up on stage and do a joke, half the people interpret it one way and half of them interpret it the way I want them to.
I have a comic character - my sister said that I'm the victim of every joke I tell.
There is a standing joke in my family that I was born with a ladle in my hand.
The English had hit upon a splendid joke. They intended to catch me or to bring me down.
I got an email saying we were nominated for a Grammy, and I instantly thought it was a joke. So I started Googling the nominees, and there we were!
I have friends growing up in Egypt. I have friends in England. And they just can't believe that what I used to say, it used to be almost like a joke. I used to say I'll be in the NBA one day.
I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... anecdotes. But never a joke.
Implying women are too weak to take a joke is *implicitlty* sexist, and ridiculous.
There's been lots of theater that uses hip-hop in it, but more often than not, it's used as a joke - isn't it hilarious that these characters are rapping. I treat it as a musical form, and a musical form that allows you to pack in a ton of lyric.
I can joke around and do what I want and be great in my area and play around and be the best, but when I'm with Clams, he's the greatest and amazing, so I'm going to make sure I do what I've got to do.
I have been invited to do something called 'Celebrity MasterChef' in England, which, of course, I can't do. It's complete nonsense. You have to be a decent cook to begin with. I'd be the joke one.
You learn what can become a good joke and can be repeatable. You have a shorthand about how to introduce a joke to someone.
And I admit it: there's a rather dirty thrill when 700 people laugh at a joke you've written.
The joke around my office is that I've shaken many hands, but I've petted more dogs.
We joke about it in the entertainment industry: Every actor wants to be a musician, and every musician wants to be an actor.
I joke that I learned the essentials of storytelling from Hanna-Barbera, but I pretty much did. That kind of television is what enamored me as a kid, and that's what really got me hooked. You could say that's where it all began.
I've been joking that 'On the Road' is the prequel to 'The Road.' I don't know if that's a very good joke.
I joke with people - and Kyle Shanahan used to say this - that my swagger is having no swagger, but that kind of becomes my thing.
It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!
Anything that I'm passionate about and surprises me usually ends up turning into a joke simply because I have questions about it and I'm curious and I want to talk about it.
I joke that I'm in the market for a cabin in the woods, and, at some point, I won't be joking anymore.
I'll say things that are serious and put them in a joke form so people can enjoy them. We laugh to keep from crying.
I think we are aware that post-racialism isn't real, right? I mean, I hope so. I kind of joke that we're post-post-racial.
I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke.
I don't really believe in lucky things, but I wear lucky underwear as a joke.
I think those that are holier-than-thou don't make jokes. They take themselves too seriously and Peeta doesn't take himself too seriously. This is what I believe in and I'm comfortable with that and I can make a joke here and there.
That's the joke about confinement pigs: they taste like whatever sauce you cook them with.
I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I've never really played comedic parts.
When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can't do that much longer.
When I came back to New York, it was such a joke because I was always referred to as the pure young poet who wasn't in it for what he could get out of it. And all of a sudden, the pure young poet comes back... and I'm hanging out with the Rolling Stones.
Gracious dying is a huge, macabre and expensive joke on the American public.
You can't teach standup comedy. You can teach someone how to formulate a joke, but making it funny is different.
We have this joke in England that half the people want me to be prime minister, and the other half want me shot.
We always have a little comedy. It's the Marvel secret sauce. I think it's what helps Marvel resonate with the audience, that, yes, we're in the joke, too.
Whenever I passed by a Chinese restaurant in a car, I'd joke to my friends, 'Oh yeah, my uncle owns that place.'
Lacroix has been fantastic. He's very nice. He gets the joke, and I think that's a good thing.
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.
We've always had a philosophy that we would always go wherever the joke is.
The Danes don't take themselves seriously at all and look for the joke in everything. Us Scots are on the same line of latitude and have the same amount of light, which may be why we have a similar sense of humour.
The casting directors that were aware of 'The Real World' looked at me as a joke. It was so hard to get away from that.
The hoary joke in the literary world, based on 'Dreams From My Father,' was that if things had worked out differently for Barack Obama, he could have made it as a writer.
I was raised in a family where no one had a serious bone in their body and every answer was a riddle, a joke, or a prank.
The key to gallows humor is to make the joke, no matter how certain the gallows is.
Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what.
You learn to kid around and joke and not take things too seriously because somehow its all gonna work out for the best - or you're gonna make it work out.
Candidates should be extremely cautious in displaying a sense of humor. If he or she tells a joke with a point, there is almost certain to be some minority group offended.
Portland hardly got to have an identity before that identity became a joke - I live in a joke. Seattle at least got to wear out its identity before it became a joke.
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