Joke Quotes
What comedians say about making people laugh.
Several quotes here come from people who make a living off timing, including one who admits to softening blunt criticism by wrapping it in humor first, describing it like a cut followed by a few stitches. Another describes the frustrating double standard where the exact same line lands only when a man delivers it.
My family joke that I'm really a very senior person who accidentally happens to be 11.
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Basically, we used to have a rule at 'Saturday Night Live' that you're not allowed to bring up 'The Simpsons' at the rewrite table, because 'The Simpsons' has done every joke there is. Every week there would be guys going,...
My first joke was about a company called Five Star Parking that was all over Philadelphia: 'Who's reviewing parking lots?'
Emotion Quotes
ICG became a dot-com joke, a one-stock example of extreme hubris on the part of its management and the investment bankers and sell-side analysts who embarrassed themselves by pumping it up.
The world was not supportive. They look at me as a joke for 13 to 14 years until I could prove feasibility; then I had competitors. Those that laughed at me became my competitors.
I joke, but only half joke, that if you show up in an American hospital missing a finger, no one will believe you until they get a CAT scan, MRI and orthopedic consult.
It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable.
When someone says, 'I recognize you,' I'll say, 'Congratulations on having a TV.' It's a little joke.
Humor Quotes
A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches...
I do things, and other people laugh at them. I rarely know what the joke is supposed to be or why they're laughing.
Venom was a joke in the '80s, their heavy metal music sucked big time, and I really have no interest in them - not then, not now.
Laughter Quotes
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
In Europe, they travel a lot lighter. I always joke that my Indonesian passengers bring their house and their neighbor's house.
I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.
Everyone's heard the same joke a million times and knows the setups. They are tired of the mass-marketed entertainment served on the networks.
Lightness Quotes
To me, music is not a stunt. Music is not a joke. I take every lick of music that I've ever played very serious.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What's this collection's overall take on jokes?
Does any quote talk about how a joke is delivered?
Is there a quote about gender differences in comedy?
Is there a quote about not understanding your own comedic effect?
Where can I find more quotes purely about humor and wit?
One quote is almost a shrug, from someone who says they rarely understand what people find funny about their own material even as others laugh along. For more on comic timing and mood, see our humor quotes and laughter quotes pages.
