Monday Status

Lines for the day everyone loves to complain about.

This Monday status collection leans into the universal groan that comes with the start of a new work week, from jokes about wishing the weekend never ended to lines that treat Monday like an unwelcome guest. It's the kind of humor that makes the first day feel a little lighter. See more in our Monday quotes.

Hey Monday, my Momma doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.

Oh, come on. It’s a day, not doomsday, make it a good one.

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Happy Monday or as I like to call it: pre-pre-pre-pre Friday!

Read somewhere that Monday is the most productive day of the work/school week. Today I will be doing my part to reduce this ugly statistic.

Is very happy. AND it’s Monday. Are you scared yet?

Searching for the remote to rewind the weekend! Sunday always comes so fast & Monday is now closing in.

Monday should be optional.

Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.

Shortest horror story: MONDAY…

Dear Monday, that better not be your ugly ass I see peeking around the corner!

Says…Look at the bright side: At least Mondays only happen once a week.

Mondays are the start of the workweek which offers new beginnings 52 times a year! – David Dweck

Going to sleep on Sunday will cause symptoms called ‘Monday’. Conversely, also note that staying awake all night on Sunday does not prevent Monday.

The thing about today is… It’s Monday! No other day could get the week off to such a great start. – Anthony T. Hincks

I feel that Mondays are God’s way of punishing me for something I did over the weekend!

Starting a new Monday Tradition… it’s called… BITE ME!

If I were president, all Monday’s would be changed to National Holiday.

This mornings coffee brought to you by HERE WE GO AGAIN!

Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.

Woke up this morning feeling like it was gonna be a good day. Looked at the calendar and realized … Oh shit! It’s Monday again! So much for a good day.

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A few lines here also poke fun at how far Monday feels from the weekend, even though the calendar says otherwise. If you'd rather celebrate the good end of that gap, our Saturday status collection is the happier counterpart.