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Most Famous Funny Quotes of All Time!

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I find it really funny that men can always get away with being a ladies man. Everyone thinks it's really cool. But a girl can't really date boys all the time because everybody looks down on her. I think boys get away with things so much easier.

Quotes by Jade Thirlwall

Craig McDean was probably one of the first people I shot with. I shot with him for years with Tommy Hilfiger and a few other jobs. He's just so nice and just a super normal, funny guy.

Quotes by Jacquelyn Jablonski

It's funny, because in deference to conventional wisdom, I spent my struggling writer years trying to suppress my naturally baroque literary voice and write clean, spare prose. I finally gave up and embraced my baroque tendencies when I wrote the Kushiel series.

Quotes by Jacqueline Carey

This will sound really funny, but I'm so used to shooting in Hindi that shooting in English took a while to get used to.

Quotes by Jacqueline Fernandez

You've got to play every game until it's over. Baseball is a funny game, so you never know what's going to happen.

Quotes by Jacob deGrom

It's funny in the U.K., where I'm not really known because I never did a soap. My English cousins in the Lake District think I'm not a real actor because they've never seen me in 'Home and Away' or 'Neighbours.'

Quotes by Jacki Weaver

If I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I think I can say something funny to defuse it. Sometimes you can't.

Quotes by Jack Whitehall

I think back to some of the things Harry said and some of the things I said trying to be funny. If I said them now, it would be on the front page of every newspaper in the country.

Quotes by Jack Buck

Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.'

Quotes by Jack Dee

I would love to do something like 'Beverly Hills Cop'. I'd get to be funny and cool and heroic all in the same breath.

Quotes by Ja Rule

That is what I got into comedy for, to be able to challenge myself and just grow as a comedian and find new ways to be funny.

Quotes by Jaboukie Young-White

I never feel like it'll be something where like, ‘Aha, I've got it. I'm funny for the rest of my life. I don't need to tell jokes anymore. I just am comedy.'

Quotes by Jaboukie Young-White

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Quotes by Jack Benny

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Quotes by Jack Benny

Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids.

Quotes by Jack Black

While I was busy hating Vegas, and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas.

Quotes by J. R. Moehringer

A reputation takes years and years and years to build, and it takes one press of a button to ruin it. Don't let that happen to you. You've done so much work; you've put in so much effort. Don't let one moment ruin your entire life because you wanted to be funny or you were mad or because you had a mood.

Quotes by J. J. Watt

I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all genres: a horror movie, a zombie movie, alien invaders, chick flick, or raunchy comedy. If it's well done, I'm a fan.

Quotes by J. K. Simmons

There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast.

Quotes by J. Michael Straczynski

Stand-up comedians say that anyone in the audience can be funny, but people paid to see us because we're just a little bit funnier. In the same way, I think anybody can play music - in fact, I think everyone has music in them, but some of us can do it a little better.

Quotes by J. D. Souther

Yes, I've been down the pike and back. And through the years, I've heard different songs with scatting in it, and it was - always cracked me up as kind of a funny style of music, you know? When I did it, it kind of cracked me up as a comedy kind of routine.

Quotes by J. J. Cale

She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.

Quotes by J. B. Priestley

I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn't serious because I was smart. I wasn't like a true troublemaker, just rambunctious - like, talkative and trying to be funny. That was me in middle-school.

Quotes by J. Cole

I was flying with my brother, and he challenged me to work out on the airplane. He thought it was funny - and I did it!

Quotes by Izabel Goulart

A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it.

Quotes by Ivan Reitman

Movies either work or they don't work and they're either funny or they're not and we work very hard. To achieve that kind of work is really kind of delicate stitching.

Quotes by Ivan Reitman

I made a couple of friends when I was a teenager who said I was funny. I used to send them very long texts; it was on a Nokia and always exceeding the text limit. But if I was making jokes in a group nobody was listening.

Quotes by Ivo Graham

I used to love being the class clown. I loved to make jokes and make people laugh. There was a set of students who would find it funny. But the cool students were like, 'Eeew!'

Quotes by Issa Rae

Janhvi is a goofball. She is unintentionally funny sometimes. Even intentionally, to give her due credit!

Quotes by Ishaan Khatter

It's funny how people fantasise about your life sometimes. But it's so much quieter than they think.

Quotes by Isabelle Adjani

Now I want to work with Octavia Spencer, because I met her and she's really funny.

Quotes by Isabelle Fuhrman

Yes, he wanted me to do Funny Games before, which I didn't want to do because the film was very theoretical - the way people experience violence on screen. There was very little space for fiction, it was more like a sacrifice for the actors than anything else.

Quotes by Isabelle Huppert

Life is funny, at the same time being totally harsh.

Quotes by Isabel Gillies

There are tons of actors and actresses I admire. But I really admire Jennifer Lawrence because she has won awards and made so many great movies, and she still seems so down-to-earth and funny.

Quotes by Isabela Moner

For 'Dora,' I wasn't sure I wanted to do it. I wanted to go on a serious path. Then I read the script. It's really funny and action-packed. It's almost like a 'Jumanji'-type movie.

Quotes by Isabela Moner

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'

Quotes by Isaac Asimov

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Quotes by Isaac Asimov

When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny.

Quotes by Ira Glass

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

Quotes by Imelda Marcos

I'm not filthy rich! I'm not as rich as people think. It's funny, isn't it?

Quotes by Imelda May

It's kind of funny, with all of the different outlets that come from acting that you could try, I would love to direct and kind of be involved in art direction, too.

Quotes by Imogen Poots

I believe in choosing your words very carefully. It's funny: I'll get comments like, 'Oh I love you. You don't care; you have no filter.' On the contrary, I absolutely have a filter, because I understand decorum, and my objective is not to upset people.

Quotes by Iliza Shlesinger

My family is funny. I think you're born with the gene.

Quotes by Iliza Shlesinger

I was always rewarded for being funny. I liked being funny.

Quotes by Iliza Shlesinger

My whole life, I knew that I was going to be funny for a living.

Quotes by Iliza Shlesinger

I love sketch comedy. My real goal is to do something with Albert Brooks. That would be my fantasy. I stay up night and day thinking up stuff he might find funny.

Quotes by Illeana Douglas

I would love to play 'Funny Girl' or 'Evita,' but I idolize the women who have played those parts. I don't know if there needs to be another version of those shows.

Quotes by Idina Menzel

I'm going to do the old 'plaster removal' technique and just get the pain over with in one go: 'Life's Too Short' isn't funny to me.

Quotes by Ian Watson

I just write what I think is funny. I don't care who watches it.

Quotes by Ian Hecox

My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.

Quotes by Ian Hislop

I think sometimes my humor is extremely dry, and a lot of times I would say things that I thought were very funny but... I have a reputation of - people think of me as a very fundamentalist, humorless fellow.

Quotes by Ian MacKaye

I don't dismiss the music that I was involved with, I don't think it was a joke, I don't think it was funny or a phase, I don't think it was just something I was doing back then, to me it was who I am. It connects all the way through. I don't distance myself from any of it.

Quotes by Ian MacKaye

As a child, one of my defense mechanisms was to try to be funny. My mom tried to nurture that by putting me in acting class. But I got bored when we stopped pretending to be trees and actually had to work.

Quotes by Ian Gomez

Scott Foley was always fun because he's a very funny guy. So I liked working with him a bunch.

Quotes by Ian Gomez

It's funny because 'Felicity' didn't have a huge following, but the following it did have is hugely devoted, so people who are fanatics about 'Felicity' would run up to me all the time. I'd be at a bar, and someone will go, 'Hey, were you on Felicity? ...' I loved doing the show.

Quotes by Ian Gomez

My father Rodger is your typical 'funny without knowing it' kinda guy. When he says something that creates shock or joy in a room, I love watching his confused face as he tries to work out what it is he did.

Quotes by Iain Stirling

A word to the wise is infuriating.

Quotes by Hunter S. Thompson

I went to beauty school when I was 19 because I thought it seemed funny, not because I thought I'd be good at it. I was terrible at first. I gave a girl a perm, and she cried.

Quotes by Hunx

The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny.

Quotes by Hugh Grant

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good.

Quotes by Howard Stern

We sat down and told stories that happened to us in our childhood, to our children. They were all basically based on the truth. These stories were funny and poignant to us. They just took off. These are all stories from my life.

Quotes by Howie Mandel

I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell you how many times my humor, you know, what I thought was humor ended up making me the outsider. Like I'd be, I go, 'It's a joke.' And they'd go, 'Well, what was funny?' And they just thought I was insane.

Quotes by Howie Mandel

Regardless of what I do, whether I write a book or whether I act or whether I host, I'll always do stand-up comedy because those moments, that's what I crave. If I do something funny, and I hear a crowd laugh in that moment, we're all sharing the exact same experience and the exact same feeling.

Quotes by Howie Mandel

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

Quotes by Howard Nemerov

It's funny, because even though on a drama like 'Picket Fences' those long monologues would stress me out, doing special effects where there's a green screen and there's nobody there to to react to and you have to recite all this dialogue, it's so much more difficult.

Quotes by Holly Marie Combs

Sometimes you have to take the focus off of you and put it on someone else and it's funny what you can accomplish and how much strength you really have.

Quotes by Hoda Kotb

I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film.

Quotes by Hilary Swank

I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.

Quotes by Hillary Clinton

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.

Quotes by Hillary Clinton

I have an older sister named Haley and she wanted to be an actress. So I wanted to be an actress. It's really funny the way that some people don't give kids enough credit for like really being driven, and really wanting to do things so badly.

Quotes by Hilary Duff

It's funny to have become an elegant skier now. But my drive is still the same.

Quotes by Hermann Maier

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn.

Quotes by Hesiod

My father was really good with math. It's a funny thing, I don't remember my father or my mother being so mechanical-minded. My father always wanted to be a doctor, but he came from a really poor family in Georgia, and there was no way he was going to be a doctor.

Quotes by Herbie Hancock

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met.

Quotes by Herb Caen

All men are equal before fish.

Quotes by Herbert Hoover

Comedy isn't just timing; it's about rooting out the funny in the real. You just bend reality to the left a little.

Quotes by Henry Winkler

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Quotes by Henry Kissinger

Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.

Quotes by Henry Kissinger

Constance Wu is so dedicated, Anna Kendrick is ridiculously funny, and Blake Lively is magnetic.

Quotes by Henry Golding

Seeing the funny side of life is useful, and I've always had a sense of humour.

Quotes by Henry Allingham

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

Quotes by Henny Youngman

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Quotes by Henny Youngman

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

Quotes by Henny Youngman

I had a cordial relationship with all my heroes - some, like Jeetendra or Shatrughan Sinha, are very funny. Amitabh, on the other hand, was more serious, more professional.

Quotes by Hema Malini

If someone from 'Arsenal Fan TV' says this guy needs to do this or that I'm not going to listen to him. They're entitled to their opinion and the way they want to do it. If people find it funny, then go watch it.

Quotes by Hector Bellerin

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Quotes by Hedy Lamarr

The funny thing is, I look at these magazines that make me so insecure and neurotic, but I'm in them!

Quotes by Heather Graham

It's funny the way life works. Sometimes you go around in a weird path to find out exactly what it is that you love to do, and I'm happy that I've sort of discovered something that makes me really happy.

Quotes by Haylie Duff

It's funny: everybody is going to have a little bit of different point of views when it comes to parenting.

Quotes by Haylie Duff

I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it.

Quotes by Heath Ledger

I am the shortest and least funny person in my family.

Quotes by Heather Donahue

You asked what is the secret of a really good sketch. And it is a sketch is a small play. It's got a beginning, and a middle and an end. It should have a plot; it should have the characters, conflict. It is a little play. And in it, will be funny stuff.

Quotes by Harvey Korman

Funny is when you're serious.

Quotes by Harvey Korman

I've learned to start from a really sound argument, boil down the essence of what you're trying to say, then build your humor around that, rather than starting with, 'This sounds funny,' and going from there.

Quotes by Hasan Minhaj

Funny and sad are two sides of the same coin. I think that most comedians are able to tap into deep subject matter.

Quotes by Hasan Minhaj

My favorite comedians are just presenting an argument, and they're doing it in a funny way.

Quotes by Hasan Minhaj

My job is to take what I think is funny and to make other people think it's funny, too.

Quotes by Harry Shearer

To me, the funniest American of the Twentieth Century is Richard Nixon because he had the most to hide, and he was so bad at hiding it. To me, that's what's really funny - people who think they're doing a great job of hiding stuff, and it just keeps leaking out.

Quotes by Harry Shearer

I suppose the things you remember about someone who has died are the funny moments. Those are the ones that stand out.

Quotes by Harry Lloyd

You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me.

Quotes by Harry Connick, Jr.

I don't really get shaken very much. People could heckle me, a spotlight could go out, I could forget a lyric... I'm not operating on somebody's brain, you know what I mean? So I just think it's all funny.

Quotes by Harry Connick, Jr.

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