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There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

Quotes by Jean Baudrillard

I never say a funny thing intentionally.

Quotes by Jayne Meadows

Snoop Dogg is hilarious. T.I. is really funny. Who else? 50 Cent is hilarious. Jay-Z is funny. I've met him, but he's funny in interviews. He was funny when I saw him, too. Ludacris is funny. Everybody is. Rappers are funny, a lot of them.

Quotes by Jay Pharoah

I've never seen Kendrick Lamar crack a joke, and I've met him, but I'm sure he's hilarious, too, just because he's so good at rapping. J. Cole is a funny guy as well. Drake is funny. But who's the funniest guy I've met who is a rapper? I would say 50 Cent.

Quotes by Jay Pharoah

I went from 250 to, like, 175 in three and a half, four months. And then I ended up graduating with honors. I went from a 2.4 to a 3.06 in a year. It's funny how those two are related. I don't want to say that if you lose weight, you'll get smarter, but... well, it worked for me.

Quotes by Jay Pharoah

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

Quotes by Jay Leno

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

Quotes by Jay Leno

I saw a stationery store move.

Quotes by Jay London

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

Quotes by Jay London

It's funny: when I go to a school and speak, and when they hear the back story about me, they want to go read the book.

Quotes by Jay Asher

It's never a matter ever, ever - are - we're never trying to gross anybody out, or ever are we trying to shock people. We're just trying to make it funny in a way that makes the audience go, 'You know, that was the first joke they thought of, and they weren't afraid to do it.'

Quotes by Jay Chandrasekhar

I am convinced that tough villains help make a comedy sparkle because they provide a contrast to the funny guys.

Quotes by Jay Chandrasekhar

I find that there's so much funny stuff in real life, and I am much more interested in super grounded, real stuff, so now I just want things to feel real and authentic.

Quotes by Jay Chandrasekhar

I would love to do a comedy, but comedy probably in the sense of a dark comedy like 'Californication,' that sort of thing. Yeah, sure, I think I'm funny.

Quotes by Jason Wiles

I think on 'Third Watch' that I was the comic relief on a lot of that. I mean, I definitely had dark moments, but people tended to think he was funny even if the character himself wasn't having a fun time.

Quotes by Jason Wiles

I like doing what I do, but I like having the opportunity to do different things, and obviously comedy would be a fun jump. I've just been lucky enough to stay working. In my case, playing intense roles or playing character roles is something that people will hire me for, but yeah, I'd like somebody to think I'm funny. I guess we all do, right?

Quotes by Jason Wiles

We would write scripts, like for 'Shutterbugs.' Then when we shot it, everyone just came up with new stuff. We've definitely learned how to do it better as we've gotten along. So basically, that's how it went. We just go in with ideas and try to figure out funny stuff while we're there.

Quotes by Jason Woliner

It's funny to see a film in Spain with a lot of violence because we don't have a lot of violence. Well, of course, we have violence, some murders, some terrorism and a lot of things. We have suffered a dictatorship, and we talk about the civil war constantly.

Quotes by Javier Camara

Acting is a funny job because you're always playing a hundred levels of pretend, but when you're working with great designers who end up doing a lot of that work for you, you can focus on the things you want to focus on.

Quotes by Jason Ralph

I always tell people that to be the funny person in a Steve Martin movie is like getting a call that Keith Moon wants you to play drums on his record. He should be playing drums on his record.

Quotes by Jason Schwartzman

If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area.

Quotes by Jason Segel

Funny enough, there have been puppets in everything I've written because I have a huge love of puppets. There's a big puppet musical at the end of 'Sarah Marshall.' I wrote 'The Muppets.'

Quotes by Jason Segel

When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that.

Quotes by Jason Sudeikis

Looking the way I look, whenever anybody's looking for a light brown funny guy, I get the call... I'm 100 percent Greek, but I look like I could be Indian or Middle Eastern or Hispanic. If it's ethnic, they'll try and put me in it.

Quotes by Jason Mantzoukas

I was funny in a way that was not dissing the teacher; I was funny just to be funny. A real charmer with a prominent mustache that he didn't know what to do with and a smart-alecky attitude.

Quotes by Jason Mantzoukas

Porsche is a driver's car - a performance car. That was funny - here's this awesome car, but it's got no cup holders.

Quotes by Jason McCoy

I already have two movies in the can, low-key, which are 'Vincent-N-Roxxy' and 'Keanu' with Key and Peele, which is my first comedy, and it's going to be super dope, definitely funny. They're so great, and they've been such life coaches to me.

Quotes by Jason Mitchell

I'm sure all actors have trouble. The guy who always plays the funny guy, he wants to be taken seriously. And there's the action guy who wants to do serious stuff. Everyone's grass is greener.

Quotes by Jason Momoa

To open the majority of peoples' minds to something new is difficult. I always think that, as long as it's funny underneath, then you can argue that a teaspoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Quotes by Jason Gann

My dad was in the army so we moved around a lot and I changed schools every year and had to make new friends, and I found that if I was the funny guy I could do that easier.

Quotes by Jason Gann

I can only speak for myself, but you never set out to be funny. You just set out to play the scenes real, and hopefully the funny comes.

Quotes by Jason Jones

I feel for Veronica Mars so much when I'm watching at home. It is a wonderful story. The writing is consistently funny, biting, charming, heart-wrenching, etc. I also like the look of it. The cinematography - different from any other show.

Quotes by Jason Dohring

I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny.

Quotes by Jason Alexander

The thing about For Better or Worse is the only thing that made me an okay director for that is that I have a sense of humor, and it was supposed to be funny.

Quotes by Jason Alexander

Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.'

Quotes by Jason Alexander

I'm a sucker for gag reels and teaser trailers for new seasons. One of the great parts of panels, especially on a show like 'Supernatural,' which can be so dark, it's fun to get up there and laugh and remember we're only telling a story. Seeing Eric Kripke and Ben Edlund up there being so funny always makes me laugh.

Quotes by Jared Padalecki

I'd love to do a comedy. I'm terrified of comedy. I don't think I'm funny, but I guess that's why it's so thrilling.

Quotes by Jared Padalecki

I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though.

Quotes by Jared Polis

What's funny is that an old Web site of mine just had one fake bio, and everyone went crazy for it. So when I made the new Web site, I thought, 'I just need to make this one even more absurd.'

Quotes by Jarrett J. Krosoczka

I was raised by my grandparents, and they always made sure that I had a pencil and some paper, whether we were in the car or at a restaurant. While they were enjoying a nice meal, I would be sitting there drawing funny pictures of the waitress.

Quotes by Jarrett J. Krosoczka

Ellen DeGeneres is brilliant. She’s funny, she’s warm and she doesn’t hurt anybody on her show.

Quotes by Janet Hubert

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

Quotes by Jane Wagner

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

Quotes by Jane Wagner

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

Quotes by Janeane Garofalo

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person.

Quotes by Janeane Garofalo

Honestly, it's hard to learn about comedy from comedians. Comedy is not something that you necessarily learn or can imitate. You're funny or you're not, and you hope what you're doing is funny.

Quotes by Jane Levy

I always ended up having the funny part in Shakespeare, but I really thought I'd be doing theater. That was my ambition for myself.

Quotes by Jane Lynch

But it's funny, I really was quite introverted as a child. I just liked music, so mum and dad bought me a piano when I was seven - I actually got up to Grade Seven at the London College of Music on piano.

Quotes by Jane McDonald

This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!'

Quotes by Jane Pauley

I love playing smart and tough and having funny lines.

Quotes by Jane Elliot

Grandchildren are the Furbies of the offspring world. They're cute, they're funny, you can play with them and then put them away when they start to get on your nerves.

Quotes by Jane Fallon

When my father died, my mother came back from being Mrs. Birkin to being Judy Campbell. She was a stunning actress. She came out of her shell. She was herself again: this very independent, funny, intellectual lady - and was able to perform again, which was her life before meeting my father squashed it out.

Quotes by Jane Birkin

Nothing has ever touched on what fun childhood was. Summer holidays were bliss. We made home movies, with real stories in them. My father had such charm and charisma, and made everything so funny.

Quotes by Jane Birkin

I watch 'The Bachelor'. It's one of those things where I always think if it didn't exist and it was on 'SNL,' we would think it would be a ridiculous, funny idea. But it actually exists... It's a glorious train wreck that I love to watch.

Quotes by Jamie-Lynn Sigler

It's funny when you know you're playing two characters and you're aware of how you have to play each one into your performance of the other. You're constantly at the back of your mind thinking and it all gets a bit confusing.

Quotes by Jamie Dornan

It's funny how you get a bit older and become more accepting of things. When you're in your twenties, you're skeptical of everything. I definitely felt like that.

Quotes by Jamie Dornan

As a kid, I had to be funny.

Quotes by Jamie Farr

You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great.

Quotes by Jamie Foxx

I really wanted to just be a musician. I didn't want to be anything else, but I was funny and all that.

Quotes by Jamie Foxx

It's funny, but as time goes by, I get stopped in airports all the time, and it's always about 'Shannon's Deal.'

Quotes by Jamey Sheridan

The townspeople outside the reservations had a very superior attitude toward Indians, which was kind of funny, because they weren't very wealthy; they were on the fringes of society themselves.

Quotes by James Welch

I had just finished working on a play, and we started to talk to the 'Happy Endings' folks. There was interest from both sides, which was exciting, because I thought it was very fresh. Adam Pally's just a really funny, talented dude. I thought I'd be great to jump on and do some comedy.

Quotes by James Wolk

I love my funny poems, but I'd rather break your heart. And if I can do both in the same poem, that's the best.

Quotes by James Tate

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Quotes by James Thurber

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

Quotes by James Thurber

I don't think the expectation is that the 'Psych' musical is going to be 'Rent,' so I think as long as we didn't completely humiliate ourselves and it is funny and it is in the tone of what we do, we'd have a fighting chance of pulling it off.

Quotes by James Roday

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

Quotes by James Patterson

Because I grew up with women, I have a certain amount of charm, and I'm all right to get on with, kind enough, funny enough, blah blah blah.

Quotes by James Nesbitt

I like clever lyrics, funny lyrics, dumb lyrics. I can never put my finger on what I like about them.

Quotes by James Murphy

I don't come from Lake Wobegon, and that world is not mine. It's not that funny to me. It's funny to other people, and I'm not judging it, but the world that I come from is not considered funny by other people as well. There's so much pain in it.

Quotes by James McBride

Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.

Quotes by James Lipton

I value comedy. I value somebody who can be funny.

Quotes by James L. Brooks

I laugh every day. There are days when my laughs are pretty hollow. Dust comes out of your mouth, and your bones make a funny sound. But I'm laughing.

Quotes by James L. Brooks

I saw 'Annie Hall' with a group of people working in comedy and television. We were all stunned. Stunned. It was like watching a spaceship land. That something that funny could also be that beautiful.

Quotes by James L. Brooks

In most audience-participation shows, the participant is so clearly not a part of what's going on that it's the fish-out-of-water aspect that makes it funny.

Quotes by James Lapine

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.

James Joyce

It's really funny seeing all these media depictions of me as an intellectual because I'm a connoisseur of low culture.

Quotes by James Holzhauer

When I'm with other people who inspire my silliness or sense of humor, I'm funny. When I sit down to write, it's hard not to be funny.

Quotes by James Howe

For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents.

Quotes by James Herriot

I think stutterers are funny. And I know it's rude and politically incorrect to laugh at stutterers. But I think it is okay because I know why they're funny. They make people nervous. People think, when on earth are they going to get the word out, so they start laughing out of their own nervousness.

Quotes by James Earl Jones

And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did.

Quotes by James Denton

The promos with all of the beautiful women probably attracted some men, but the mystery story line is pretty cool. It's got that dark edge, and people will watch anything funny.

Quotes by James Denton

I feel like somebody who just is very understanding is my biggest thing - timing is a major issue for me - but also funny! Obviously I want someone really cute and fun and fresh for good Instagram pictures and that just makes me really happy.

Quotes by James Charles

There's been thousands of very, very funny and also very, very nasty tweets about me.

Quotes by James Charles

Lewis Carroll, you see, wasn't really interested in telling an exciting story. Well, he wasn't interested in things like cause and effect or a linear narrative. It's surreal, it's absurd, it's wordplay, it's satirical, it's analyzing itself, it's funny, it's an enormous challenge.

Quotes by James Bobin

I am a great believer that your humor is developed at a very early age, and it doesn't ever change. You're basically the same person forever, so you find the same stuff funny forever.

Quotes by James Bobin

I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.

Quotes by James Brown

I know what's funny, and I probably know the best way to deliver the joke. Whether it's walking out of a room, facing that way, facing this way. I just have a sense of that.

Quotes by James Burrows

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.

Quotes by James A. Garfield

I'm more interested in - I was going to say putting on an interesting show, but then when I think about it, it's more like putting on several interesting shows. I think I'm more interested in doing funny things than calculating how I'll best be received.

Quotes by James Adomian

The moment you think you're not funny, the next funny thing you think of is just around the corner. So you have to appreciate the natural breathing patterns, the ups and downs. There are moments you're going to be hilarious and moments where you're going to be not so hilarious. That's just the way it works.

Quotes by James Adomian

One funny thing I realized is how many people had no idea that I was gay because they don't bother to look it up or ask.

Quotes by James Adomian

I always feel a little funny being in front of a lot of people trying to show them my approach to the ukulele, but I do enjoy it. I do get a little more nervous doing workshops rather than performing.

Quotes by Jake Shimabukuro

I'm in the lane where I can make music but also have it be funny and still good at the same time.

Quotes by Jake Paul

I've heard players, and I'm talking about some of the best players in the league, question whether I've taken steroids or not. Some of the things I hear are pretty funny, and some people are idiots, frankly.

Quotes by Jake Arrieta

It's funny to me that people find other people getting coffee really interesting, or walking their dog in the dog park.

Quotes by Jake Gyllenhaal

It's funny: a lot of roles I do read for mention physical presence - like, 'built like a quarterback' - and for me, it's pretty boring because I don't want that to be the most important thing. I'm not trying to be Dwayne Johnson.

Quotes by Jai Courtney

It's a funny thing because I don't want to wish away my privacy. Do I want 'Terminator Genisys' to explode? Absolutely. Do I want to take my career to the next level? Absolutely? You have to trade some things for that. It's all about how you conduct yourself and what you make of the experience.

Quotes by Jai Courtney

But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set.

Quotes by Jaime King

Just for fun, I'm really goofy and I would love to do some stupid comedy. I'm talking, like, crazy, out there, Will Ferrell type of thing. I love it; I think those movies are so funny.

Quotes by Jaimie Alexander

Chris Farley, I was a huge fan of his growing up. I would love to do something kind of slapstick and funny, maybe where I could change my look even a little bit.

Quotes by Jaimie Alexander

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