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Most Famous Funny Quotes of All Time!

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Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.

Quotes by Jo Brand

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

Quotes by Jo Brand

I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.

Quotes by Jo Brand

I love storytellers. When I was growing up, my inspirations were watching Eddie Murphy, Dennis Wolfberg, and Louie Anderson. These guys were great at telling stories, and I made that my own style, talking about things that happened to me and trying to make them funny.

Quotes by Jo Koy

Comedy is just an unspoken language. Everybody understands it. Funny is funny. When it's not funny, they'll let you know.

Quotes by Jo Koy

If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain.

Quotes by Jimmy Reed

I gave my heart to the Lord, and I remember the incident vividly. The Lord spoke to me. I know that sounds funny. It was not an audible voice or anything of that nature.

Quotes by Jimmy Swaggart

It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.

Quotes by Jimmy Kimmel

That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.

Quotes by Jimmy Kimmel

But my comedy hero was Stephen Chow. His deadpan comedy, all the stuff he wrote like 'From Beijing with Love,' it's incredibly funny.

Quotes by Jimmy O. Yang

I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

Quotes by Jimmy Carr

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

Quotes by Jimmy Carr

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Quotes by Jimmy Durante

It's funny, in some of the interviews I've seen that were done for the film, some people say things like, 'Oh, I was never a very big Jim Woodring fan. I've never thought his work was that great.'

Quotes by Jim Woodring

It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead, you're made for life.

Quotes by Jimi Hendrix

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.

Quotes by Jimi Hendrix

In the early days, Jerry was an antagonist, which was arguably his best casting. 'The King's' quick wit is perfectly suited to be an antagonist, but at the same time, he's so funny that it is hard to hate Jerry Lawler as the villain - especially at this stage of his long career.

Quotes by Jim Ross

I consider myself very lucky. God has a funny way of bringing some things around and knocking you in the head with the ultimate destination. Something I should have achieved quite easily took me a long time to get around to. It came in His time, not mine.

Quotes by Jim Morris

History often reads as a hard and grim experience. But people are remarkably resilient and funny, even when the going is very hard.

Quotes by Jim Murphy

I remember certain people in the audience laughing and I wanted to ask: 'What are you laughing at? This isn't funny.' Now I realize that laughter can come from insecurity. They don't know how they should be feeling.

Quotes by Jim Dale

I do not think that obsession is funny or that not being able to stop one's intensity is funny.

Quotes by Jim Dine

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Quotes by Jim Carrey

I love Charles Barkley, he's a good friend of mine and he's a funny guy. He knows nothing about college basketball. Less than nothing.

Quotes by Jim Boeheim

It's funny how a film about a murderous old English toff can help you.

Quotes by Jim Broadbent

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.

Quotes by Jilly Cooper

Brad Pitt's role in 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith' - I want to do that so bad! That's one of my favorite movies of all time, and that character was so funny.

Quotes by Jessie Usher

Writing for 'Rooster' was a strange experience. It's funny, once you tap into a voice, words just start to flow. You know when you've hit a spirit or captured something.

Quotes by Jez Butterworth

I got to draw monsters, robots and write funny stories. I loved doing that stuff and working with the actors. But it got to be less and less that stuff and more about trying to be everywhere and not being able to do one thing very enjoyably.

Quotes by Jhonen Vasquez

After doing Johnny I wanted to just do something, I wouldn't say innocent, but to not have any care in the world. Lots of setups and horrible happenings but its funny.

Quotes by Jhonen Vasquez

When I read a script, I have to see the funny, and if I can see it's funny, it helps me to be able to transmit that.

Quotes by Jessica Walter

My grandparents would never admit to being Tasmanian, but I think it's really great and funny. But I guess, in the past, Tasmanians just weren't quite accepted. You had that lazy reference to them being felons.

Quotes by Jessie Cave

I like guys who are honest and funny. Looks come and go; I want to be 65 years old and laughing with my husband.

Quotes by Jessica Lowndes

I'm a big Geena Davis fan. I have a Geena Davis-signed baseball, which is funny because I don't get signatures from most baseball players I meet.

Quotes by Jessica Mendoza

And if I have kids one day, I can tell them that I was famous on Instagram, which is really funny, and they will think that I’m really lame. Everything is temporary.

Quotes by Jessica Barden

There’s a tendency to still show women as being one way or the other - you’re either soft and shy or you’re really ballsy and funny, but I think that we’re everything.

Quotes by Jessica Barden

I've never gotten to do romantic comedy like most of the girls. Maybe because I'm fit, people assume that I'm not funny?

Quotes by Jessica Biel

Funny how defined we are by how we present ourselves to the world.

Quotes by Jessica Chastain

When I was 12, I snapped my arm in two. My wrist still has a funny bump because they didn't join it back together so great.

Quotes by Jessica De Gouw

It's quite funny in that I once won Rear of the Year at my school! I was about 17 in the sixth form and we used to have an end of year celebration and give out different awards. I even got a little trophy!

Quotes by Jessica Ennis-Hill

I think politics is extremely funny in and of itself.

Quotes by Jesse Watters

I think it's just funny, the things that come out of people's mouths, whether it's a politician, whether it's an average person on the street - and to be honest with you, sometimes these politicians sound like average people on the street.

Quotes by Jesse Watters

I'm always trying to find the next comedian that just gives me something a little funny to combine with all of the depressing news that I'm processing.

Quotes by Jesse Williams

There's a misunderstanding about what nonsensical things are - the idea that they're just funny, and that's the beginning and the end of it. Nonsense is not 'not sense' - it operates at the edge of sense. It teems with sense - at the same time, it resists any kind of universal understanding.

Quotes by Jesse Ball

Jesse Tyler Ferguson is probably one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. Everything the kid does is funny. I think he tunes his life to being funny.

Quotes by Jesse L. Martin

I do find it funny, actually, why I'm not more of a Corbyn fan. I am a classic Corbyn fan, really. Not so much on the foreign policy, but I'm leftwing, pro-immigration, pro-welfare spending, there's very little that we wouldn't agree on.

Quotes by Jess Phillips

Why do I love Roald Dahl? His voice, more than anything. It's irreproducible. It's so musical, and it's funny even when it's not trying to be, which is most of the time.

Quotes by Jesse Andrews

Don't write us off. Nobody thought we'd win the World Series in 2005, but we did. There are years when we think we're great, and we're bad. I mean, the funny thing about this game is that you can't figure it out.

Quotes by Jerry Reinsdorf

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.

Quotes by Jerry Stiller

I don't think my judgment is that good. I don't know what is funny.

Quotes by Jerry Stiller

I definitely knew I wanted to be an actor in high school. I was doing plays and musicals, and I loved 'Saturday Night Live' and thought that was what I wanted to do - funny sketches and comedies. So I knew then, but I didn't know how to go about it, but I found my way.

Quotes by Jerry Trainor

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

Quotes by Jerry Lewis

It was funny that rank-and-file evangelicals were ahead of all the leadership. They saw for decades conservative Republicans had made promises to them on issues that were important to Christians and conservatives when they were running for office. But when they won, they didn't keep those promises.

Quotes by Jerry Falwell, Jr.

Funny, I don't feel any more powerful today than yesterday.

Quotes by Jerry B. Jenkins

What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.

Quotes by Jerome K. Jerome

I was influenced by a lot of comedy growing up, I had good parents. They were funny, too. My mom was hilarious; my dad was hilarious. I guess being at home around the environment was just a good stage to get started.

Quotes by Jermaine Fowler

You can't teach standup comedy. You can teach someone how to formulate a joke, but making it funny is different.

Quotes by Jermaine Fowler

Humor was how I got through everything in my life. I used to find a funny way to get out of situations. That's who I was. That's who I am!

Quotes by Jermaine Fowler

You meet somebody on a bus or something, and they say, 'Thank you for the World Cup; it was so good to see,' and stuff like this - it's funny.

Quotes by Jerome Boateng

It seems like everybody's perception of me is very bipolar. To one group, it's overpaid, overrated; to another group, it's underpaid, underrated, underdog. It's funny to me because there's no real balance.

Quotes by Jeremy Lin

The space and light up there in Norfolk is wonderfully peaceful. I find myself doing funny things like gardening, and cooking, which I rarely do in London.

Quotes by Jeremy Northam

I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.

Quotes by Jeremy Clarkson

Crashing is never funny, but sometimes you can jump up, laugh at your stupidity, and go, 'What the hell was that?'

Quotes by Jens Voigt

It's funny how a song can start in your mind, and then when it goes through all the filters, it ends up in a totally different spot.

Quotes by Jenny Lewis

I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest. I don't know, I grew up in such a Catholic family that I kind of liked to test the boundaries a little bit and I think I had fun watching my mom laugh.

Quotes by Jenny McCarthy

I always thought that farts were funny, and I always thought that they were mine to talk about because they came out of my body.

Quotes by Jenny Slate

Every wedding is slightly different from the other. But you always get to meet the funny uncle and the weirdo relatives, and there's always someone trying to beat you up for not playing enough Beatles songs or something.

Quotes by Jens Lekman

I don't write literary fiction - I write books that are entertaining, but are also, I hope, well-constructed and thoughtful and funny and have things to say about men and women and families and children and life in America today.

Quotes by Jennifer Weiner

If you have a movie that doesn't strive to go to a certain emotional point, you can do anything and it will be fine and funny. But if you have something pretty emotional at its core, you have to make it right. You don't want it overwrought or unearned. Everything has to be moving towards this one thing.

Quotes by Jennifer Yuh Nelson

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

Quotes by Jenny Eclair

It's interesting with my blog, because it feels to me less like a blog and more like a forum, because my readers are so funny and leave hysterical comments. And I'm not being humble when I say that very often, the comments are so much better than the post originally was.

Quotes by Jenny Lawson

This is going to sound cheesy, but with acting there are so many tools. When you're on camera, you're using all of it. You're using the voice, you're using your body, you're using wardrobe, all of it, but it's funny, once you take all of those things away, you realize how much you rely on the physicality.

Quotes by Jennifer Stone

It's funny looking at yourself. You know how it is when you look back at old pictures? It's just funny looking back at yourself walking and talking at age 14.

Quotes by Jennifer Connelly

Girls are supposed to be feminine and demure. Comedy isn't about that, so you just have to unlearn it. Certain women are so pretty, they can't go weird enough to be funny. You have to be willing to be ugly. I'm lucky my face can look so hideous.

Quotes by Jennifer Coolidge

I was, like, this token teen angst child of Broadway. It's so funny. What is that? I don't even know. But I loved it.

Quotes by Jennifer Damiano

I know people will think it's funny because I've done glamour modelling in the past, but I felt embarrassed about my body and just wanted to cover it up.

Quotes by Jennifer Ellison

I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard.

Quotes by Jenna McCarthy

In person, RuPaul is warm, funny, personable - someone who thoroughly enjoys life.

Quotes by Jenna Wortham

I just think that it's such a good show and timeless and still very funny, and that just makes me happy to have that whole first season in one concentrated space for people to enjoy so that it's not hit and miss trying to find it in syndication always.

Quotes by Jenna Elfman

By the way, I'm funniest when I'm not being funny. I'm better to laugh at than with, pretty much.

Quotes by Jemima Kirke

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

Quotes by Jeff Ross

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

Quotes by Jeff Ross

I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.

Quotes by Jeff Ross

I like Donald. I guess I shouldn't call him that. I like President Trump. He's affable. He's funny.

Quotes by Jeff Zucker

I thought that through the strip, I could vent my spleen and be funny at the same time. But when it comes to humor, there's no substitute for reality and politicians.

Quotes by Jeff MacNelly

Political cartoonists get hung up on daily deadlines and the front page. The worst thing you can do is open up the newspaper and ask, 'What's funny about this?'

Quotes by Jeff MacNelly

The funny thing about 'Take Shelter' is that a lot of people talk about how it was allegory for the economy and things that were to happen. And that was so on the nose in the movie for me. I was like, 'That's obvious.' It's the other stuff about marriage and commitment and those other things that I spent the most time thinking about.

Quotes by Jeff Nichols

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

Quotes by Jeff Kinney

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.

Quotes by Jeff Dunham

I think maybe one reason why ventriloquists are looked down on is because it's very difficult to be funny. I think what happens is that people get a dummy, they learn the technique of ventriloquism, they memorize the script, they think they're in show business.

Quotes by Jeff Dunham

The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life and the interaction between the separate personalities on stage becomes 'real.' Then don't forget that the act has to be funny, and to me, being funny and entertaining any given audience is more important than anything.

Quotes by Jeff Dunham

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.

Quotes by Jeff Garlin

'White Teeth' has far too many characters, and its plot is tortured. But Smith has an astonishing intellect. She writes sharp dialogue for every age and race - and she's funny as hell.

Quotes by Jeff Giles

When people are committed to things, and the world view they have is no longer in alignment with our world view, then it becomes funny.

Quotes by Jeff Baena

I've always maintained that people that are funny and smart can do anything in film.

Quotes by Jeff Baena

I try to become a singer. The guitar has always been abused with distortion units and funny sorts of effects, but when you don't do that and just let the genuine sound come through, there's a whole magic there.

Quotes by Jeff Beck

And regardless of the fact that in this country, certainly in the arts, we treat comedy as a second-class citizen, I've never thought of it that way. I've always thought it to be important. The last time I looked, the Greeks were holding up two masks. I've always thought of it not only as having equal value, but as the craft of it, being funny.

Quotes by Jeff Daniels

When I went to London, they told me I spoke with a funny accent - English with a Chinese accent.

Quotes by Jean-Georges Vongerichten

Only the mediocre are always at their best.

Quotes by Jean Giraudoux

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