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Funny Quotes

Most Famous Funny Quotes of All Time!

We have created a collection of some of the best funny quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Funny Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

Quotes by Zsa Zsa Gabor

Macho does not prove mucho.

Quotes by Zsa Zsa Gabor

It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing.

Quotes by Zora Neale Hurston

I really like funny women. I'm drawn to women like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig, Amy Schumer. They're writers, they're producers, they're actresses. They're brilliant, funny, excellent women.

Quotes by Zoe Foster Blake

Whenever I'm in the U.K., people say I have an American accent. Which is, obviously, funny.

Quotes by Zedd

It's funny how you never know who you're going to share your life with.

Quotes by Zal Batmanglij

You know, I've just always been sort of goofy and kind of gone with it. I actually usually work more in drama, but I have been floating back and forth with comedy, and somehow they keep giving me jobs in comedy, so I guess there's something funny about me.

Quotes by Zachary Knighton

Over the years, I learned that in my career, unlike in life, sometimes my wheelchair is its own automatic door opener. I was able to win the OWN competition by applying one simple principle: be funny, and admit you suck before anyone else can call you out on it. In other words, make the narrative of your failure a comedy.

Quotes by Zach Anner

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

Quotes by Zach Galifianakis

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny.

Quotes by Zach Galifianakis

I think God has a sense of humor, and the way my lessons come from God is very funny. I have to laugh at myself even if it's a tough lesson.

Quotes by Yvette Nicole Brown

It's great if you're funny or if you can dance, but if you are kind and decent, it comes out your pores.

Quotes by Yvette Nicole Brown

It's funny, because I've never thought of myself as a Hispanic actor, like in 'American Gangster,' I'm playing an Italian. I've always been fortunate enough to have been allowed to play all these diverse roles.

Quotes by Yul Vazquez

With rap, it's a funny thing. You can say things, and people can take 'em the way they wanna take 'em.

Quotes by Young Jeezy

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

Quotes by Yogi Berra

Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation.

Quotes by Yara Shahidi

'Vicky Donor' proved that the audience was waiting for well-scripted funny films.

Quotes by Yami Gautam

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

Quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.

Quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

Earl Hebner used to call me 'Tiger,' so I went with the last name Woods because I thought it was funny. I'm a huge fan of X-Men and, just, intelligence in general, and the leader in charge is named Prof. Charles Xavier. I took Xavier from him and put together the two names.

Quotes by Xavier Woods

It's funny how the smallest things I've done speak the loudest about me, but I like that.

Quotes by Xavier Niel

We have a funny sort of love/hate relationship with critics because, unfortunately, in the art/commerce dance that we do, they drive people to the restaurant. Regardless of sometimes how well we prepare the food, if people don't know that we're out there, if someone isn't talking about us, you guys aren't coming.

Quotes by Wylie Dufresne

It's a funny thing, but it's often overlooked that I'm a huge devout lover of French cooking. I have the utmost respect for them, though they have lost their respect for me because they think the way I cook is nutty.

Quotes by Wylie Dufresne

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Quotes by Woody Allen

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Quotes by Woody Allen

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Quotes by Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Quotes by Woody Allen

The discovery I made was that, really, in America, if you went to high school in our country, it doesn't really matter where you went to high school. In a funny way, all high schools are the same.

Quotes by Winnie Holzman

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill

Banjos are funny instruments. They can get pretty irritating.

Quotes by Winston Marshall

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Quotes by Wilson Mizner

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Quotes by Wilson Mizner

Funny songs aren't usually that good. Like Weird Al and maybe a couple of Beatles songs, but it's kind of hard to bring humor into rock music in an interesting way.

Quotes by Win Butler

I thought it was really funny that half the people I autographed things for said, 'Autograph the back of my phone.' I was like, 'What? Really? Seriously?' They didn't have anything else.

Quotes by Willow Shields

TV deals in very broad strokes. Like, 'Oh, that's my dumb friend', or, 'That's my funny friend.' A true best friend, a sidekick, has to be a little deeper then that. You have to feel like there's nothing either character won't do. That someone really, really has their back.

Quotes by Willie Garson

Chris Rock is a very funny man.

Quotes by Willie Geist

If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

Quotes by William Lyon Phelps

I try to write stories that are thrilling and full of mystery and funny all at the same time, stories that raise moral questions but come up with very few moral answers, stories that emotionally touch readers through the characters.

Quotes by William Lashner

I like dark humor. I think the world is very funny and tragic, and my photographs are basically dark Jewish humor.

Quotes by William Klein

With its missed lines and falling tombstones, 'Dark Shadows' was sometimes inadvertently funny, but what made the show work was the fact that the actors and the writers took it all very seriously.

Quotes by William J. Mann

If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like.

Quotes by William Feather

I'm not funny ha-ha, but I look for real humour in just about everything I've ever played.

Quotes by William Fichtner

I really think that sex always looks kind of funny in a movie.

Quotes by William Friedkin

Violence is not funny.

Quotes by William Friedkin

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.

Quotes by William Arthur Ward

Somebody once said that my look was like if Aileen Wuornos got acquitted and got a book deal. And I was like, 'That's wrong, but it's really funny.' And I've always thought that she was kind of like a gold mine for parody because there's all these things that went wrong in her life.

Quotes by Willam Belli

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Quotes by Will Rogers

Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny.

Quotes by Will Eisner

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead.

Quotes by Will Ferrell

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.

Quotes by Will Ferrell

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.

Quotes by Will Ferrell

I always find it actually funny that the analysis is that the characters I play in comedies are the manchild, the adolescent, characters that refuse to grow up. And yet, if you look back in the history of comedy all the way back to the Marx brothers, that's a big part of comedy.

Quotes by Will Ferrell

The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have.

Quotes by Will Ferrell

I know the nature of comedy, and you never know what will happen with the next movie or whether people will find it funny.

Quotes by Will Ferrell

I don't know if I was a funny kid. I would say I was a loud and weird kid.

Quotes by Will Forte

It's funny: the older I get, the more I can pick out when people are acting.

Quotes by Will Forte

I'm the one who's dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus, if a producer is going to date a hot young thing, I'm probably not the first person on their list - the weird, quirky, funny girl.

Quotes by Whitney Cummings

Saying women aren't funny is now like saying Asians can't drive or saying black people have bad credit. It's just really, like, so obsolete.

Quotes by Whitney Cummings

I had a moment where I was onstage once... As a comedian, you just think, 'Be funny as possible all the time - like, funny at all costs - jokes, jokes, jokes.' That's how my mentality was.

Quotes by Whitney Cummings

I feel really trapped as a comedian - someone who is supposed to be funny and light, making jokes all the time. But I'm actually in this inauthentic armor.

Quotes by Whitney Cummings

I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material!

Quotes by Wesley Snipes

I guess when I think about it, one of the things I like to dramatise, and what is sometimes funny, is someone coming unglued. I don't consider myself someone who is making the argument that I support these choices. I just think it can be funny.

Quotes by Wes Anderson

All I want to do is write songs about funny characters I made up.

Quotes by Wes Borland

I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.

Quotes by Wendy Liebman

I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control.

Quotes by Wendy Liebman

I grew up in a little funny town called Xuzhou, in the countryside, very poor. We didn't have hot water. We were four children: three girls and a boy.

Quotes by Wendi Deng Murdoch

You know what? At the end of the day, funny is funny. I hope to see the end of all the female cliches that are written in a lot of comedies that are named chick flicks.

Quotes by Wendi McLendon-Covey

I've got a bunch of books... I rely on funny books and movies to cheer me up. Oh, but I must say, I do have the world's most perfect husband, so a cuddle from him always cheers me up. He's a good guy.

Quotes by Wendi McLendon-Covey

There is some humour in 'Family Values.' I don't want everyone to think it's not going to make them laugh. But there are quite a lot of poems there that aren't funny at all.

Quotes by Wendy Cope

Possibly I've become less funny as I've been happier.

Quotes by Wendy Cope

I personally love the record-making more than the actually performing and travelling. It's funny, the drastic shift in lifestyle that comes with it. It certainly satisfies my more adventurous side, but it leaves little time for contemplation and all of that.

Quotes by Washed Out

Some characters think more like me than others; some think more like my dad or someone else. It certainly is made up of my experiences, things I've heard, things I think are funny, things I think are sad. There's sort of a strange, blurry version of yourself in there.

Quotes by Watt Key

Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.

Quotes by Wavy Gravy

'Friends' played in this territory of being funny, and then also just grabbing your heart. And not afraid of that. It was a comedic soap opera. Not being afraid to have an audience feel something, laugh and cry, was quite extraordinary and quite wonderful.

Quotes by Warren Littlefield

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

Warren Buffett

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

Quotes by Wanda Sykes

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

Quotes by Wanda Sykes

I'm really funny now.

Quotes by Wanda Sykes

I'm always thinking of stuff; I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.

Quotes by Wanda Sykes

I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.

Quotes by Wanda Sykes

It's a funny thing, but today the Titanic is probably much more - that is people are much more aware of it than they were in 1954, when I was doing my research.

Quotes by Walter Lord

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

Walt Whitman

I don't happen to have a sense of humor personally, so I don't know what's funny about a character... This happens to be a feature of my life generally.

Quotes by Wallace Shawn

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

Quotes by W. Somerset Maugham

I like children - fried.

Quotes by W. C. Fields

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Quotes by W. C. Fields

There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity.

Quotes by Vladimir Nabokov

All of the films I'm doing are young, urban, high-concept, funny films. That's the zone where I'd like to play and have fun in.

Quotes by Vir Das

Alien Chutney is just what the name suggests it is. Its music that is so funny and quirky and weird that it feels entirely alien to the listener; yet, the content and the subject matter is so Indian and relatable, it's still chutney.

Quotes by Vir Das

What is important to me as an actor is that, even if I have to spread my arms, take my shirt off on a mountain top with my heroine in a chiffon sari, it still has to be me and my twist or my funny take on it.

Quotes by Vir Das

Unless someone wants to look funny, I'll not recommend anyone to copy my bowling action. But on a serious note, with the confidence that I have got from the amount of runs I have been scoring, when I'm thrown the ball to bowl, I am pretty sure of what I have to do. I may not be the most attractive to watch while bowling, but I can be effective.

Quotes by Virat Kohli

I don't know how to troll people, but there are many out there talking with that intent. I just write something funny that would make people laugh.

Quotes by Virender Sehwag

The funny thing is, people's perceptions of what a song is about is usually wrong a majority of the time. But they're still going to read what they want to into it.

Quotes by Vince Gill

It's grueling never knowing if the audience is going to think you're funny. It's soul-destroying when they don't laugh.

Quotes by Vince Vaughn

It started off with flu-like symptoms and pain; then, I started feeling really funny. In two weeks, I was paralyzed from the waist down, and it spiraled down from there. Every ability I had was slowly slipping away.

Quotes by Victoria Arlen

What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade.

Quotes by Victoria Beckham

On family trips and vacations, I remember walking around with my little sister and making funny songs on the spot.

Quotes by Vic Mensa

I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place.

Quotes by Vera Farmiga

The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!

Quotes by Vera Wang

Funny, I think that the only reason I'm compared to Prince is because of my skin color.

Quotes by Velveteen Dream

There are just so many funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are.

Quotes by Vanessa Bayer

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