Woody Allen Quotes

Most Famous Woody Allen Quotes of All Time!

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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.

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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Marriage is the death of hope.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I am two with nature.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.

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