Funny Quotes
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If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy.
Bill Murray is a wonderful actor, and he's very funny, and I've seen him be serious and terrific.
I don't mean to sound - I don't want it to come out funny, but I don't like show business. I love - I love acting in films. I love it.
I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it.
Losing streaks are funny. If you lose at the beginning you got off to a bad start. If you lose in the middle of the season, you're in a slump. If you lose at the end, you're choking.
Let's say I'm not feeling well, and somebody would say to me, 'Just do an easy show, just go out and do a light...' - I can't! I cannot do that kind of a show. I have to still put 150 percent into it, and it's funny: it's so healing to do that.
Lots of models have played mermaids throughout history and it is, kind of, a funny rite of passage.
I used to go in for Disney auditions, and they'd tell me, 'You're cute and nice but just not funny.'
The funny thing about New York City is that if you hide from her, she's just gonna say, 'Whatever, kid!' and leave you in the dust.
Tina Fey writes crazy, off-color, racist, hilarious stuff for '30 Rock,' but it's always funny because you're in this almost two-dimensional world where there's Jenna Maroney and these over-the-top characters. That's the framework.
My goal is to show people that conservatives are funny. In fact, we're the rebels: we're 'Animal House.'
I make commercials and funny videos and T.V. shows or whatever, film projects that people will watch for ten minutes and go 'Heh' and get on with their day. I essentially... make comic books.
It's funny: I'm a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it's been a solitary thing.
My wife's a loving, funny, Irish-spirited person, and I'm still surprised at some of the things she says. She makes me laugh every day.
I've always thought the word cow was funny. And cows are sort of tragic figures. Cows blur the line between tragedy and humor.
It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment!
It's funny, though, speaking of fathers and sons, because me and John Goodman played father and son, like, five or six years ago in the film 'Death Sentence,' and I got back with him again in 'Inside Llewyn Davis.'
It's funny that I got to do 'On the Road' because the thing that had the biggest impact on me growing up was reading books. I was very inspired by the book and this spirit of Dean Moriarty and how envious we all are of somebody who can be that carefree.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
My mother was funnier than anybody I ever worked for. My father was as funny as this coat. Not a laugh a minute, my father.
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.
Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.
Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.
It's funny, as a little kid, you look up to those guys who you play as in 'Madden,' and now to see myself in the game, it's an honor.
I think we were in London for TV and David Hasselhoff was guest host of 'Raw'. We had the match where we did the slo-mo entrance run. It was really funny.
When I first saw 'Broken' Matt Hardy, I thought to myself, 'Umm...' I actually said to Jeremy Borash 'Why is he talking like that? Is he trying to make an accent and it's coming out really bad?' And then it kind of grows on you and it's just funny as hell, at least for me.
When I think about Plastic Man, he was genuinely the first funny super hero. I'm obviously attracted to that. There's also this great mixture of tragedy in there, too, that I love. The humor comes from a place of pain.
The stuff we're seeing in 'Deadpool' and 'Harley Quinn' now, Plastic Man was doing in the 1940s. It's a character that was ahead of its time back then and the stories are still funny and still relevant.
It's funny because I grew up with the T.V. on 24 hours a day. And the more money I made, the more T.V.s we had.
There's so many funny things to say about being with Charlotte. I've worked on a few bits about it - not to be indiscreet but because the shock of culture and values is so interesting.
There's different kinds of improv. There's Second City improv where you try to slowly build a nice sketch. There's stuff you do in college coffee houses where you just go joke, joke, joke. Bring another funny character with a funny hat on his head. Christopher Guest is more the line of trying to get a story out.
That's always a funny thing, when people think they're known for every little thing they ever did, and they're really not.
I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.
But the only comparison that I want to Lenny Bruce is that I'm funny. I'm Freddie Prinze, Puerto Rican all the way.
YouTube's a funny place because so many creators fall into their aesthetics out of necessity and the visuals are driven out of an urge to create. You get a lot of interesting examples of interesting design choices that have roots in practicality as well as an artistic sentiment.
Gamer humor ranges all over the place. What it comes down to is taking a lot of what we see in gaming and we're familiar with in gaming and being like, 'OK, hold on, let's re-examine this for a second. Isn't this funny? Isn't this strange? Isn't this a little bit ridiculous?' That's where it is.
There are a lot of funny motels. There was one motel in the middle of nowhere: it was real plain, but it had a gigantic green monster, something like the Creature from the Black Lagoon, standing next to this lake.
You find a personality whom you think the TV audience will embrace and find a format that is tailor-made for the personality. In the case of Andy Griffith, we moved the personality of a wily country shark - a funny and shrewd guy - into another arena. In this case, he is a lawyer, and it is a dramatic series.
The small amount of people that control the discourse around painting - I thought that the whole museum world was just a bunch of phonies, and I didn't really want to have anything to do with it. I guess I did installations, in a funny way, because they couldn't be commodified.
Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes. This is a constitutional right everybody has, and nothing's funny about that. The only reason they get mad at the Black Panther Party when you do it is for the simple reason that we're political.
There were a lot of R&B groups that were my heroes, but the funny thing about my career and the way it went and where it went, at first I didn't really want to do pop music. I was a little bit more into jazz and R&B.
One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.
Doug Stanhope is great - I saw his 'Burning the Bridge to Nowhere' show and it was inspiring. He's like an anti-shaman, taking the sting out of a bunch of things we've chosen to give a symbolic power to. I've made it sound noble and worthy there, it's not, it's really funny.
It's funny: 'Next Thing' was written in a time of my life when I was actually really naive and thought that I was wise.
When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful.
The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.
It's just not funny to disrespect other people's beliefs, backgrounds, cultures, or identities when those are deeply rooted in longstanding oppression. Jokes that punch down on marginalized people require no creativity because they've existed since the beginning of time. It's like telling a knock-knock joke and believing you're Richard Pryor.
Something that I've always been really keen on representing is some honesty with the way that we view ourselves. That's something I've always appreciated watching actors that I've looked up to, is when they look like you and me, or they have a funny elbow, or they have, you know, a hairy face.
I make big objects that are simple, bright and clear, kind of ironic but hopefully funny because I love the shapes, and I get inspiration from toys and books, and I believe in art for everyone.
Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality.
It's funny because the perception is that the typical 'X Factor' contestant is the person who's just working 9 to 5 and just decides to one day go and audition. So yeah, for me, it was a very different story.
Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.
Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.
I found it quite funny when my teacher at secondary school saw me bowl and wanted me to throw the javelin. So I tried, and I kept hitting the back of my head!
Wrestling has a funny way of regenerating itself, and I'm sure, in the past, a lot of people have asked questions about 'Who's going to replace Sami Zayn in the locker room?' or 'Who's going to replace Kevin Owens in the locker room?' People always step in.
I think if I'm with a friend group, I try to be as funny as possible, and I don't always succeed, obviously.
You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.
One of my favorite comedies is 'Groundhog Day' and 'Scrooged.' I love Bill Murray, and I think he's a great example of an actor who is funny.
My first proper kitchen was this funny little club that we set up in Mercer Street in Covent Garden. It got shut down. Then I worked at a club in Notting Hill.
A good horror movie - it doesn't matter how many comedy horror films there have been before. Doesn't matter how much you think it's going to be funny. A good horror movie will scare the hell out of you... the moment you sit down and you start being exposed to that story, it's going to freeze your blood.
Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown.
This may sound funny, but I feel my most beautiful when I'm clean, fresh out of the bath. I don't have to be dressed up. I could be in comfy clothes at home hanging out with my family.
Being funny is a symptom of what's underneath. You're pumping out all that energy because something else is going on inside you, some opposing force, something uncomfortable.
I never like to be the same, whether it be comedy or drama, funny or serious.
I admit I feel funny when I use the word 'whom' as I'm talking to my diapered children, but I persist.
It sounds funny, but I felt that my responsibility as an American actor was to let the British know we can act as well as they can.
What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize.
Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick.
The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That's happened a lot. Or they're often purely victims.
Sometimes, the other characters are too normal and then you start to be brought back to reality but then Luna shows up and she is just so funny and cool and honest and slightly mad and she's all that matters. She is 100% true. She puts on no shows, because she is so comfortable with herself.
People like her because she's like a breath of fresh air. Because in the fifth book it gets so dark and Harry's always cross and then every time Luna comes in all the tension goes and she makes you laugh because she's so funny and really honest. I don't know how much I'm like her, there are some similarities but I'm more determined than her.
If I'm in a serious play, I often think to myself, 'I could make that line funny.'
There's this funny thing with pilots that you have to sign the contract to do the whole job before you're even offered the part. And they make about a million pilots a year, but hardly any of them get turned into series.
Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine.
There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way.
I would love to do comedy. I think I'm funny and that comedy is my strong suit, at least in real life. I have yet to prove myself in the movies, but I'd love to get the opportunity to do that.
I think it's harder to go from comedy to drama than from drama to comedy. Seeing you dramatic all the time, they crave to see you being silly or funny. But, seeing you in comedy all the time, it's hard to see that person go be serious, for some reason.
I think comedy and horror are very similar in that there's a very direct intention. So you're trying to be funny, or you're trying to be creepy, and that literalness - I take to that.
People who I've worked with are always like, 'Why aren't you doing comedy? You're funny!' because they've only seen the one side. I did do the comedy 'Whatever Works,' with Woody Allen and Larry David.
I was inspired by comedy channels. I loved that they got to do sketches and could be funny and crude and make people laugh. But most of those channels, if not all of them, were done by guys.
Girls can be funny and play sports and show how to do the perfect soccer kick if they want.
If I go on summer vacation, I'd make a funny video about it for YouTube. For Instagram I'd show the gorgeous pictures. Snapchat is for the little side moments, like the hotel room, the food. Twitter is for whatever thoughts that come to mind about the vacation.
So, I'm the Eighth Wonder of the World. It's flattering and very, very funny.
I would say 80% of the scripts I get are dramas and not comedies or romantic comedies, which is funny because that's what I do every week.
I have way more freedom in Los Angeles and in the U.S. But it's funny because when I have a meeting with producers or people from the industry, we go to a restaurant to meet someone, and nobody knows me. But all of the sudden, the entire kitchen comes out, and they start taking pictures with me, or at valet parking.
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