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Funny Quotes

Most Famous Funny Quotes of All Time!

We have created a collection of some of the best funny quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Funny Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

I was also lucky to play for an owner, Bud Selig, who truly cared about his players. He'd call me into his office once in a while when he knew things weren't going so well. And it's funny. Every time I left there I always felt like something good was about to happen.

Quotes by Robin Yount

Too many writers get stuck in the trap of writing what they think is funny and not considering who they are writing it for.

Quotes by Robin Thede

Everybody who comes to my home has to play at least one set against me. I beat them all. The best thing is when they want another set. People like me who can't stand not to win. I beat them again and again until they are furious, then I laugh. That's funny.

Quotes by Robin Van Persie

I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.

Quotes by Robin Williams

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Quotes by Robin Williams

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

Quotes by Robin Williams

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

Quotes by Robin Williams

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Quotes by Robin Williams

Not intending to be funny: I sit at the keyboard, put my fingers on the keys and go. To me, it's the real secret of writing. Put yourself in front of the screen or the blank sheet of paper and get to work.

Quotes by Robin Hobb

'Hustle' is wonderfully enjoyable because all my life, I've made an effort to be with people who can make me laugh. That original cast - Marc Warren, Jaime Murray, Robert Glenister and Adrian Lester - are all funny. So I know every day I'll have a few good laughs.

Quotes by Robert Vaughn

I snootily say I can't take too many dramatic parts, as it's taking work from actors who aren't funny.

Quotes by Robert Webb

It's a very funny topic, missing weight and getting title shots. I think the punishments should be more severe, but I don't know.

Quotes by Robert Whittaker

You can almost liken 'Bad Samaritan' to 'Funny Games' because it's that theme of horror just down the street in your neighborhood.

Quotes by Robert Sheehan

Being on 'Star Trek,' you have a funny relationship with fame.

Quotes by Robert Picardo

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Quotes by Robert Orben

The funny thing about insane people is that it is kind of the opposite of being a celebrity. Nobody envies you.

Quotes by Robert M. Pirsig

I think funny is just the foundation. I don't really think, to some extent, funny is the absolute most important thing. It should also communicate some idea through the medium of cartooning. Just to be funny is... You know what, the things that you laugh hardest at aren't cartoons.

Quotes by Robert Mankoff

Every man has a sane spot somewhere.

Quotes by Robert Louis Stevenson

With comedy, the jokes will come out, and people will see them coming. Changes in daily life or current events can change the consciousness of audiences and can make the show less funny or feel more stale.

Quotes by Robert Lopez

I like to think my sense of humor is sort of smart and dumb at the same time. I like to work on multiple levels - smart and dumb, funny and sad, profound and mundane, cynical and hopeful.

Quotes by Robert Lopez

There is a cliche that probably has some anecdotal evidence on the side that comedians are very depressed people, but that's because no one is ever going to seem as funny in a normal conversation as compared to when they're up there onstage in the spotlight making a huge audience keel over with laughter.

Quotes by Robert Klein

I guess I'm pleased and proud of the respect of my peers, and that when I disappear from the scene or from this earth, I will have left a mark. They'll say, 'He did it well.' I like being funny; it opens people up.

Quotes by Robert Klein

Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us.

Quotes by Robert Klein

I love being funny! I started in the theater when I was 9 and, believe it or not, always played the funny part!

Quotes by Robert Knepper

I read the script for Wonder Boys, and I said that was almost perfect, it was so classy, cool and funny. It's a really specific thing. We stuck to it, it turned out good and a lot of people liked it.

Quotes by Robert Downey, Jr.

I like girls who are funny with a warped sense of humor.

Quotes by Robert Buckley

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

Quotes by Robert Byrne

You have to avoid caricature, at the one end of the spectrum, and sentimentality, at the other; which is not to say that such characters shouldn't be funny part of the time, or that their actions shouldn't evoke genuine feeling.

Quotes by Robert Boswell

Sometimes when you do a whole script, you hand it off, and it gets rewritten by a bunch of people, and people don't really get that much of a sense of how funny you can be.

Quotes by Robert Ben Garant

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Quotes by Robert Benchley

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Quotes by Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Quotes by Robert Benchley

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.

Quotes by Robert A. Heinlein

The funny thing is, I'm so used to not caring what anyone says, good or bad, that unfortunately even when people say good things... I wish it made me feel good, but it doesn't.

Quotes by Rob Zombie

My girlfriend doesn't think I'm funny at all.

Quotes by Robbie Amell

I love improv so much. Listening. I think that's the key. When you improvise, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to create, and to be generating information, and trying to be funny, but if you just listen to what's being said to you, and then react honestly, you generally get better results.

Quotes by Rob Riggle

I love to play it. I think it's funny. It's always been funny to me. Somebody who's large and in charge but totally wrong-headed.

Quotes by Rob Riggle

It's funny: I always, as a high school teacher and particularly as a high school yearbook teacher, because yearbook staffs are 90 percent female, I got to sit in and overhear teenage girl talk for many years. I like teenage girls; I like their drama, their foibles. And I think, 'I'll be good with a teenage daughter!'

Quotes by Rob Thomas

The brilliance of Adam Scott is that he is so damn funny in a straight man role.

Quotes by Rob Thomas

The difference between you and the funny person on TV is that they acted on their ideas.

Quotes by Rob Manuel

The musicals that I loved, growing up - many, many. 'Singing in the Rain,' of course, is a classic, I love 'Meet Me in St. Louis.' I love 'Funny Face,' Stanley Donen's beautiful movie. It's really countless for me.

Quotes by Rob Marshall

It just so happens that people aren't doing comedy about abortion or cannibalism or waterboarding. And that to me doesn't necessarily mean that there aren't aspects of those subjects that are funny, it just means that people are too uptight.

Quotes by Rob McElhenney

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

Quotes by Rob Corddry

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

Quotes by Rob Corddry

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

Quotes by Rob Corddry

Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they talking about their favorite TV shows, or a particular brand of shampoo?

Quotes by Rob Delaney

The best thing you can do when you're not feeling funny is go out and get more stimuli from the world, get out and walk around, read a book, go talk to some birds or a dog and replenish the well, as it were.

Quotes by Rob Delaney

I think there are a lot of really funny things in 'The Descendants,' but there're a lot of different tones in that movie, in the same way that 'Transparent' has a lot of different tones.

Quotes by Rob Huebel

The cool thing about 'Transparent' is that the show is funny but not like a sitcom is funny. It all comes down to the writing... The writers on that show are so good that you don't have to worry about anything. There are so many things that can go wrong making a TV show or a movie, but if the writing's good, that's, like, 95 percent of it.

Quotes by Rob Huebel

I look up so much to those movies, 'Airplane!' and 'Naked Gun.' I think that stuff is so funny. I grew up just loving all that stuff and sort of idolizing Leslie Nielsen.

Quotes by Rob Huebel

George Clooney is exactly what you would expect. He's annoyingly good looking, insanely funny, and super smart. So you just feel really inferior around him all the time. You end up feeling really bad about yourself, but you walk away feeling really great about George Clooney.

Quotes by Rob Huebel

I am a very funny guy.

Quotes by Riyad Mahrez

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Quotes by Rita Rudner

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Quotes by Rita Rudner

I'm a little bit scared of everything. It's kind of funny. Whenever people ask me how I'm feeling, I'm like, 'I don't know. I'm scared. I'm nervous.'

Quotes by Rico Nasty

I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny.

Quotes by Ridley Scott

I'd love to date somebody cool, fun, funny.

Quotes by Rihanna

We love super-silly moments, funny moments, serious moments, weird moments.

Quotes by Riki Lindhome

Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny.

Quotes by Ricky Gervais

I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to be funny.

Quotes by Ricky Gervais

I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe.

Quotes by Ricky Schroder

Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation.

Quotes by Ricky Van Veen

There's a fine line between angry and grumpy. Angry isn't nice, but grumpy is funny.

Quotes by Rick Wakeman

It's funny: here I am, a guy who plays in one of the world's biggest classic-rock bands, and to tell you the truth, I listen to classic rock the least.

Quotes by Rickey Medlocke

Some of my fans don't really like it when I respond to people who say things that are trying to be hurtful on social media. But I think it's kind of funny. There's a lot of things that make me laugh, that people would try and say those things. I mean, there's some that I can't even retweet or respond to just because of how bad it is.

Quotes by Rickie Fowler

All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside of that, you're not sure really what's going to happen. It's a funny game, but I think that's why I love it. You never know, one day to the next; you could go shoot 62, and the next day you're going to shoot 78, and you can't predict it.

Quotes by Rickie Fowler

So while it is true that I find really dark stuff funny sometimes, it's also true that as a writer of books I want to have the whole range of human emotions.

Quotes by Rick Moody

Rory Bremner I have no problem with; he is a satirist, and a very funny one, too.

Quotes by Richie Benaud

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain.

Quotes by Rick Baker

It's funny: I've been very successful and done a lot of films, and I don't really have an agent - I don't really pursue jobs, I let people come to me.

Quotes by Rick Baker

John Ford was so funny that I couldn't wait to go to work in the morning.

Quotes by Richard Widmark

I loved being in the room with Mamet as a director - he is the most generous, funny, delightful person to work for every day.

Quotes by Richard Thomas

I show them the funny part, the silly part, the laughing part, the crazy part and then the really deep, deep part where I'm talking from my heart to these people. Because I've been through everything they've been through.

Quotes by Richard Simmons

My persona has always been what a man was never supposed to be. Outrageous, gregarious, crazy, silly, funny.

Quotes by Richard Simmons

My parents always told me to be myself. I was always funny and silly as a kid. And I would always make them laugh. And they always told me to dream big and follow those dreams.

Quotes by Richard Simmons

You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things.

Quotes by Richard P. Feynman

It's funny; Luther and I have written many songs together, but we've never written songs in the same room.

Quotes by Richard Marx

It's funny: I can never sleep between shows; I think it's because I don't like to switch the motor off. I'll probably have some chicken or pasta, though never the two together, and maybe go out for a quick wander around.

Quotes by Richard McCabe

It's funny: what one tends to think of as the best work you've done is not what other people think is the best you've done.

Quotes by Richard McCabe

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

Quotes by Richard Lewis

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

Quotes by Richard Lewis

If I'm playing a bad guy, and I'm playing him evilly - I'm making him evil; I'm being evil because I want the audience to understand that he's bad - or if I have a line that's funny, I do it in a comedic way, that, to me, is a lie. It's dead when I watch it.

Quotes by Richard Jenkins

'Portnoy's Complaint' was very far out there, and movies have always worked when you have either a funny situation between two or more people or a very dramatic situation. There's not that much difference.

Quotes by Richard D. Zanuck

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.

Quotes by Richard Dawkins

The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.'

Quotes by Richard Branson

I love the part of Hector as it takes me back to playing eccentric parts. He is a funny character, which is fine by me as I've been playing for laughs for decades now! It's lovely to get a laugh; it's the best thing in the world!

Quotes by Richard Briers

A lot of comedies are based on the reaction shot. You have one person doing something stupid and one person is generally the straight man, and the laughs generally come on the reaction of the straight man to the funny thing the other person has done.

Quotes by Richard Ayoade

My grandmother was very funny. It skipped a generation.

Quotes by Richard Belzer

I've known Chevy Chase for so long, I actually knew him when he was funny!

Quotes by Richard Belzer

To me, wealth is the peace of mind you have, your family, your friends, your colleagues. Everything else is just money, and it really is funny how people pay so much attention to that.

Quotes by Ricardo Salinas Pliego

I say funny stuff in my lyrics to make people laugh, but it's all in the seriousness of the music. I'm just being witty.

Quotes by Rich Brian

I made a Twitter account when I was 10 years old. I wasn't even trying to be funny. I was still tweeting in Indonesian. I didn't really speak English yet.

Quotes by Rich Brian

I say funny stuff in my songs sometimes, but it's still all in the seriousness of the music and the craft.

Quotes by Rich Brian

I always wanted my kids to like me and think I was funny, so I made up this story about a kid named Jake and his racecar that he had built from scratch, fully loaded with whatever fantastical gadget he or I wanted him to have at the moment. I loved making up the stories off the top of my head.

Quotes by Rhea Perlman

I watched 'The Neighbors' when it first came on, and I thought it was hysterical. And every time I think something just tickles my funny bone, I call my agent and say, 'You know, I like this show. If they're ever looking for somebody, I'd like to work with them.'

Quotes by Rhea Perlman

It's really funny how I've come round to classical music around the back door with my banjo in my hand, and I love it.

Quotes by Rhiannon Giddens

I was always silly in high school. I used to always get in trouble because I was laughing. I've always thought I was funny but never thought I could use it to make money. In 1996, I decided I was going to use my humor to get on TV to make money.

Quotes by Retta

I prefer to tell stories. If it's funny, then I want to do it on stage.

Quotes by Retta

It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married.

Quotes by Regina King

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