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Most Famous Funny Quotes of All Time!

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I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.

Quotes by Dave Attell

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Quotes by Dave Barry

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Quotes by Dave Barry

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

Quotes by Dave Chappelle

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

Quotes by Dave Chappelle

It's funny - when you look at the real A-listers nowadays, look at how many live in and around Hollywood. Most of them live on a ranch in Utah. It's no coincidence these guys get in and get out.

Quotes by Darren Boyd

When I was in college, I was in the theater department, which for anyone who has been involved in any kind of theater program, you know that it's really wacky and tight-knit, a real family. Me and my good friends from college would do random shows and plays that were sometimes serious, but most of the time really goofy and funny.

Quotes by Darren Criss

I think women have such rich emotional lives that they are expressive about. I also think they're funny. I like watching strong female characters, and I like writing them. I don't know if it's conscious that I gravitate towards women, but it's certainly evolved that way.

Quotes by Darren Star

If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage, it's funny to see what happens.

Quotes by Daryl Hall

Writing is a funny thing. It's not like you're working on a schedule. It comes in fits and starts.

Quotes by Daphne Guinness

The funny thing is musicians often love to go to see visual art because you've got all these pictures to turn into metaphors.

Quotes by Dar Williams

One time, it was really funny, I was going on stage... and they were like, 'Oh, we didn't mic the puppet! Mic the puppet!' So, that's how I know that sometimes I do a very good job, because they think that the puppet is actually, like, real.

Quotes by Darci Lynne Farmer

One day, my brother had his friend over, and they were in the laundry room, and I stuck my puppet's head around the door and then started chasing them with it and made my puppet laugh very scary. It was really funny.

Quotes by Darci Lynne Farmer

I don't see myself as celebrity like other people do. I just think that's funny.

Quotes by Darci Lynne Farmer

I'm just an entertainer. All I want to be is funny. I never aspired to play Hamlet.

Quotes by Danny Kaye

My job is summer camp. I come and talk and try to make a TV show funny.

Quotes by Danny Masterson

Pugs are really great dogs to have as they are such loyal, funny companions.

Quotes by DanTDM

It's funny, because I'm a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while.

Quotes by Danny Bonaduce

It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness.

Quotes by Danny Boyle

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.

Quotes by Danny DeVito

Well, you know, I feel like it's about a lot of things. The reason that I made it was because I thought it was really funny and unique and just a different genre.

Quotes by Danny DeVito

What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do.

Quotes by Danny DeVito

Working with Yachty was so fun! I love that man so much! He's one of my favorite artists, but he's also my favorite person. He's so bubbly! He's just so funny.

Quotes by Danielle Bregoli

Actually, for me, it's really funny because I play characters with mommy issues more than anything, and I have a great relationship with my mom!

Quotes by Danielle Macdonald

It's funny, one of the reasons why I never wear my glasses any more is that, when I was younger, a guy once said that he liked me until he found out that I wear glasses.

Quotes by Danielle Panabaker

Journalists said they had never seen so many funny women as leads when we did 'Hotwives' - we had a cast of seven very funny women. That doesn't happen.

Quotes by Danielle Schneider

If I feel you're funny, I want to work with you.

Quotes by Danielle Schneider

I grew up watching horror films from a very young age. My sister was never able to watch scary movies; I don't think she'll ever watch mine because she's just so bad at it. Its funny because I'm the complete opposite: I love to be scared. I love to have that fear before you go to bed, and you're like, 'Oh my God, please, nothing come out.'

Quotes by Daniel Zovatto

I mean I've seen 3D films so far and I think it's a long way to go before they replace actors. It's a funny thing with 3D, I haven't quite got it yet. Yet.

Quotes by Daniel Radcliffe

I decided I'd try my hand as a stand-up comedian, as I loved making people laugh, and appeared at the Latitude Festival, won the 2007 Laughing Horse New Act of the Year, and was a nominee for winner of the 2007 So You Think You're Funny competition.

Quotes by Daniel Rigby

If I was at school and one of my friends said something funny, I'd write it down in a notebook and take it to the writers meetings. I never told my friends about it. I just thought I could incorporate stuff that was true to life.

Quotes by Daniel Kaluuya

The people running Silicon Valley are not making the show because they want to do a satire of Silicon Valley. They are just comedy writers, and they want to make a funny show.

Quotes by Daniel Lyons

One thing I would say is real cops have real gallows senses of humor and make incredibly funny and inappropriate jokes in the presence of dead people all the time.

Quotes by Daniel J. Goor

The number one rule of comedy acting is 'don't try to be funny.' Act as seriously as possible.

Quotes by Daniel J. Goor

I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he's hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations.

Quotes by Daniel Craig

I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me.

Quotes by Daniel Dae Kim

We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why.

Quotes by Daniel Dennett

The one thing that disturbs me about Alec is that people don't realize that he's really funny.

Quotes by Daniel Baldwin

It's funny, because in 1970 I met the Beatles quite by a chance at a party. It was the Beethoven bicentenary, and I was then also playing the Beethoven Sonatas. And that's all they wanted to hear about - I wanted to talk about them, and all they wanted to talk about was Beethoven.

Quotes by Daniel Barenboim

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

Quotes by Dane Cook

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

Quotes by Dane Cook

For me, 'Jaws' is much more of an adventure movie, but when it's scary, it's terrifying. When it's funny, it's hilarious. When there's drama, it's the most sincere stuff on screen. When there's adventure, there's swashbuckle. It's all those things.

Quotes by Dan Trachtenberg

We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny - the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know?

Quotes by Dana Carvey

I used to sneak up to the 8th floor and watch Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo rehearsing 'Saturday Night Live' and could only wonder if I would ever have the chance to be funny. It took me five years to go up the two stories, but it is such a sense of fulfillment to be able to show what I can do on national television.

Quotes by Dana Carvey

What's funny is my mom took me to the theater for the first time when I was six years old, and I was just amazed by it. I just said, 'Hey Mom, can I do this too?' And so she signed me up for little theater classes, and I remember my first audition for a play when I was seven years old was for 'The Thankful Elf.'

Quotes by Dana Davis

It's funny because before I joined the cast of 'Heroes,' I was an insomniac. I have suffered from insomnia for, like, so long. Now that I'm on the show, seriously - I sleep like a baby. I'm so tired all the time.

Quotes by Dana Davis

Like funny men, skilled diners are apparently perceived to have an evolutionary advantage.

Quotes by Dana Goodyear

Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been used to it for years, so it's no problem. And there's nothing I can't do.

Quotes by Dana Hill

The Democratic party, respective to health care, is like a person who was sent into the store to purchase a gallon of milk and some butter for the evening's meal and instead walked out with a 'Gladiator' DVD, a can of Easy Cheese, and some Homer Simpson house slippers because how funny are they?

Quotes by Dana Loesch

I would like to do something modern and possibly funny.

Quotes by Dan Stevens

Anybody can make jokes. But unless they come from conviction, and there's truth in them, you haven't nailed it. They aren't as funny as they could be, and they don't make a point.

Quotes by Dan Jenkins

In college, I learned that my favorite parts were the sad clown parts. Those are the ones I love because you get to do everything. You get to be funny, make them laugh one minute, and make them cry the next minute.

Quotes by Dan Fogler

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

Quotes by Dan Castellaneta

Three high schools. I was funny. I thought I was being funny. I just had an opinion about everything that was said in school, so that got me thrown out.

Quotes by Damon Wayans

Having nine brothers and sisters, you have to stand out. In order to get on the stage with me and Shawn and Marlon and Keenan and Kim, you have to be funny. We're not going to let you in the conversation.

Quotes by Damon Wayans

It's funny, my kids and I live together, and I have a lot of actor friends. So my kids think everyone is on television every now and again, since everyone they know pops up here, but there's a whole rap of things they won't watch until they're 16 or 17.

Quotes by Dallas Roberts

It's funny because the action figures are cool, and then I enjoy the magazines because that's me. Obviously, the fans are wonderful - they're so excited - but I'm not Rey, and people tend to not be able to differentiate the two.

Quotes by Daisy Ridley

I love Felicity Jones. It was funny because I went to go see the 'Rogue One' set, and I was like, 'Oh my God, I love you.' And she's so tiny, and elegant, and she's just so small. Everyone's so much smaller than they seem.

Quotes by Daisy Ridley

Courtney Love is really cool and funny. I would like to meet Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz. I think I could play their daughters.

Quotes by Dakota Fanning

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.

Quotes by D. L. Hughley

But it was this tough little character part that I was playing, a very funny little guy that I invented over a weekend, because I realized I was not contributing to the humor of this thing. And I had to do something.

Quotes by Dabney Coleman

But movies as much as anything developed what I thought was right and wrong, what was honorable, what wasn't, what was funny what wasn't... what had some depth to it, what didn't.

Quotes by Dabney Coleman

That is the problem with comedy in India. Spoofing sells. Come up with original comedy about the hilarious nation we are, with funny accents and odd rituals, and we get into trouble.

Quotes by Cyrus Broacha

I thought it's very funny that I ended up as a voiceover guy because when I started out as an actor, I had a very strong Long Island accent.

Quotes by D. B. Sweeney

It's funny: I kinda still float under the radar. I'm not tall like a New York Knick; I'm not a heavy, strong New York Giant or New York Jet. I blend in pretty well. A lot of people don't recognize me too many places. More men recognize me than women.

Quotes by Curtis Granderson

When you're working with a big star, you always wonder what it's going to be like. Hugh Jackman puts you at ease within 10 minutes. He has such a wonderful energy and is so generous when you're doing a scene. He's just so funny and friendly and playful - he instantly becomes your friend.

Quotes by Cush Jumbo

My parents were from New England. It's very funny, but when I grew up, you always had to say, 'Yes, ma'am' and 'Yes, sir.'

Quotes by Cy Twombly

It's so funny looking back, but my so-called overnight success actually took 15 years. I remember when I didn't have any money, and my only car was mom's Hyundai.

Quotes by Criss Angel

There's a couple of movie parts that I can't remember. There was always something kind of lurking, because when 'The Office' started, I wasn't a regular. You're a guest star, so they don't really need you. They didn't say that, but I've seen the show - with or without me, it's still funny.

Quotes by Craig Robinson

I worked with Tyler before on 'Daddy's Little Girls'. He couldn't be smarter or more laid back and cool. He's always throwing out lines and is funny as hell. And he was shining his light on 'Peeples', too, lending his name to showcase Tina as a first-time director, and me as a first-time lead.

Quotes by Craig Robinson

It's funny to see how people react to the project, to read their thoughts, and I wonder aloud, 'Did they even watch the movie? Did they even get it?' I know we, myself and the entire cast, put a lot of heart, love and humor into 'Meet the Peeples'. I'm very proud of that film and what we were able to accomplish.

Quotes by Craig Robinson

I think with 'Chunky Rice,' it felt novel to me to give this emo twist on these funny animals.

Quotes by Craig Thompson

Comedy is the slave of time. What seemed funny then is unlikely to seem funny now, just as what strikes us as funny now would not have seemed funny then.

Quotes by Craig Brown

It's funny how most activists are pacifists.

Quotes by Craig Bruce

The inventory process and stepping back in your life can sometimes be a very dark process. But it also can be extremely funny and surprising.

Quotes by Craig Charles

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

Quotes by Craig Ferguson

I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.

Quotes by Craig Ferguson

However, frat-boy humor is funny and it always will be.

Quotes by Craig Kilborn

It's funny, because I never think of myself as Little Miss All-Together.

Quotes by Courteney Cox

When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.

Quotes by Courteney Cox

Family is funny, and so it was not an unnatural thing for me, growing up, not to know anything about my dad or about the Vance side of our family.

Quotes by Courtney B. Vance

What's funny about the slacker thing, people project an image of what they think a musician is: young, slack, unemployed - like a really romantic idea of a poet, writer or musician - which isn't really true a lot of the time. I don't reckon you would know anything about me if I wasn't moderately hard-working.

Quotes by Courtney Barnett

It's so funny because the roles that I've been offered in the indie film world have been similar to each other, and the roles that I've been offered in the TV world have been similar to each other, but the TV roles and the indie film roles have been completely different.

Quotes by Courtney Ford

I love kids; I think they are fun and funny.

Quotes by Courtney Thorne-Smith

When I try to be funny, it always makes me more nervous that I'm trying too hard, and then my brain that already thinks too much jumps into hyper drive, and I light-speed start talking 'Star Trek' to someone who's talking 'Star Wars.' Anyway, it doesn't work out usually when I 'try' to be funny.

Quotes by Coy Bowles

It's funny because from the time I was a kid, I knew what I was going to do. What's even funnier is that my dad and my grandfather didn't want me to work at the pawn shop, but I was deadset on it.

Quotes by Corey Harrison

It's funny; I'm in some ways hopelessly masculine, but I don't fish, I don't hunt, I'm not that into sports. I can't fix a car. I think it's my point of view and the way I see the world.

Quotes by Corey Stoll

I do think there are some actors that can get away with trying to be funny, and they're still funny because they're just likeable, and you want to see them. Me, though, when you see me trying to be funny, it's like the worst thing in the world. It's needy, it's cloying, it's manipulative - it's bad.

Quotes by Constance Wu

If the writing is good, then the writing is already funny. All you have to do is make this funny writing true to the very deepest of your heart, and the fact that you are capable of making this true will be hysterical.

Quotes by Constance Wu

I carry with me from my male upbringing a sense that femininity is forbidden. So when I appear on YouTube with forty butterflies glued to my body and glitter all over my face, I have a sense that I'm getting away with something I'm not supposed to. I'm being decadent. I'm enjoying a forbidden pleasure. And that's fun, and it's funny.

Quotes by ContraPoints

It's funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up.

Quotes by Corey Feldman

Making YouTube videos while I was in school, I was fortunate enough not to really have any negative repercussions from it. I had a lot of positive feedback from my friends, who thought they were great and thought they were funny and that what I was doing was really cool.

Quotes by Connor Franta

I see fighters make funny videos about me and stick them on Facebook and get 20 likes. When I make a video, I sell it to Fox and make seven figures. That's the difference.

Quotes by Conor McGregor

There's a funny thing that, in film now, everybody thinks that the director does everything, and in TV, everybody thinks that the writer does everything, and I'm quite comfortable with that as a director. I don't mind that.

Quotes by Colm McCarthy

Life has a funny way of becoming ordinary as soon as it can.

Quotes by Colm Toibin

My brothers and sister and me grew up making fun of each other, the way we'd speak or move. When we get together, everyone's funny, quick, loud, and speaks on top of each other. It was like a great comedy school; nothing is precious.

Quotes by Colman Domingo

My mom's mother was from Virginia, but I don't feel much of a tie. I'm very much anti-South for many, many reasons. Whenever I go down there, people are always looking at me funny, you know.

Quotes by Colson Whitehead

'Lucky' is for laughs, and there's really nothing funny that I'm doing on 'Dexter.' I think more than anything, both comment on the fact that anybody is capable of anything. Just because they are the shy guy in the corner doesn't mean that they are a harmless little bunny.

Quotes by Colin Hanks

Learning to be your natural self in front of five cameras and a silent studio takes time. Trying to be funny under duress is probably a lot like trying to play golf relaxed under pressure.

Quotes by Colin Jost

When you're around people who are trying to be funny all day and trying to one-up each other, that's just naturally - if you want to do it - it's going to make you better.

Quotes by Colin Jost

Whatever I did, I always gravitated toward trying to be funny. If I was with friends, we were joking around. If I wrote for the newspaper, it would be a humor column. If I acted, I wanted to do comedy.

Quotes by Colin Jost

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