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Most Famous Funny Quotes of All Time!

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When I made a breakthrough as an actor, people started to say, 'Who's that bloke with the funny name?' They advised me to change it, saying it would never be put up in lights outside theaters because they couldn't afford the electricity. But I would never contemplate changing it. It's who I am.

Quotes by Pete Postlethwaite

It's funny, but I always feel really safe on the streets of London. It's the most inspiring place to be in the world.

Quotes by Pete Doherty

You know, it's funny... when you're making money, people don't think you're playing jazz. Now when you're not making money, people think that you're a good jazz musician.

Quotes by Pete Fountain

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

Quotes by Penn Jillette

It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on.

Quotes by Penn Jillette

Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living.

Quotes by Pauly Shore

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

Quotes by Pauly Shore

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me. I was just inherently funny when I was a kid.

Quotes by Pauly Shore

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

Quotes by Paula Deen

I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny.

Quotes by Paula Pell

If you're hired to be a funny person, you have to trust your judgment but also be open because sometimes you think something's funny, and the next day you read it and go, 'Oh, my God.'

Quotes by Paula Pell

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Quotes by Paula Poundstone

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

Quotes by Paula Poundstone

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to.

Quotes by Paula Danziger

I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny.

Quotes by Paula Danziger

It's so funny: I sort of fell into genre roles, but I'm not really a genre guy.

Quotes by Paul Wesley

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

Quotes by Paul Simon

It's funny to think of Dave Chappelle's show and how popular it was and he was before YouTube. I would imagine 'Chappelle's Show' would be even more giant if there was a chance to put his stuff online and pass it around.

Quotes by Paul Scheer

I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas; Eugene Levy.

Quotes by Paul Shaffer

Fear is what makes comedy funny.

Quotes by Paul Rudd

Sometimes I think I'm funny. But then sometimes I see myself, and I think, 'There's somebody trying to be funny.'

Quotes by Paul Rudd

I find many of the people that I've worked with to be incredibly funny.

Quotes by Paul Rudd

I went through a phase where I thought it was really funny to make pratfalls in very crowded places. I jumped out of a moving car once, for a laugh. That was a mistake.

Quotes by Paul Rudd

I think the desire to be funny was a mixture of wanting to be liked but also wanting to throw your elbows a bit.

Quotes by Paul Rust

George Carlin maintained that anything and everything is funny given the right context. This context also includes your own history with a given group. What I can get away with and where I can go is not a problem with my audience because they know me.

Quotes by Paul Provenza

Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny.

Quotes by Paul Mooney

Andy was a character, and the two of us did have some things in common. We appreciated funny things, didn't like serious things.

Quotes by Paul Morrissey

Even when I begin with a situation that's basically funny or sad, I like to keep poking around in it. I like to get into the middle of a relationship, to explore the subtle places.

Quotes by Paul Mazursky

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

Quotes by Paul Merton

When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

Quotes by Paul Merton

But Wall Street people are in fact very smart; they're funny, they're not company men who work their way up the chain.

Quotes by Paul Krugman

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.

Quotes by Paul Lynde

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

Quotes by Paul Lynde

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

Quotes by Paul Lynde

Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.

Quotes by Paul Lynde

It's funny to find there are still people around who think if a musician has schooling, it automatically makes him a lesser jazz player. But you don't learn jazz in school.

Quotes by Paul Horn

'Crash' came from personal experience. I saw things inside me from living in L.A. that made me uncomfortable. I saw horrible things in people and saw terrible things in myself. I saw a black director completely humiliated, but the three people around me just thought it was funny. 'No,' I said, 'that is selling your soul.'

Quotes by Paul Haggis

One of the funny things of being a producer, you have these fleeting, intense relationships with people, and they go off to global megastardom, and you don't see them.

Quotes by Paul Epworth

I don't find monkeys inherently funny.

Quotes by Paul F. Tompkins

Some people just want to make up the funny things and play pretend.

Quotes by Paul F. Tompkins

For years, it's driven me crazy that women don't have better roles, especially in comedies. I know so many funny women but I always felt... misogynist streak is too strong a term - but a dismissiveness.

Quotes by Paul Feig

I love funny people, and when I'm with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because that to me is funny, as opposed to someone who stops and says, 'Hey let me tell you a joke.'

Quotes by Paul Feig

I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I guess.

Quotes by Paul Feig

It's a funny thing. You sort of never figure it out with acting. You're always learning.

Quotes by Paul Dano

When I got a call to do the voice of Johnny in an episode of 'American Dad' titled 'I Can't Stan You,' it was a great opportunity to be a part of a really funny cutting-edge show on television. I really got into the character, and I was able to do some improvisation, which allowed me to mix in part of my personality into the script.

Quotes by Paul Butcher

It's funny. You travel all over the world, and you wind up with a guy from your hometown.

Quotes by Patty Smyth

I still read the British papers, but I've never been a Royalist, ever. It's funny, there always seems to be much more of a fascination with the Royal Family over here then there does in England.

Quotes by Paul Bettany

I did feel funny about being fair and having red hair and freckles. I did not like that because I grew up in a neighbourhood where no one had red hair. I felt very conspicuous but not in a nice way.

Quotes by Patti Scialfa

It was great fun to hang around the Beatles. They had amazingly fast minds, and they were incredibly amusing and funny and witty. They were great. There was a very high energy surrounding them.

Quotes by Pattie Boyd

Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period.

Quotes by Patton Oswalt

Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.

Quotes by Patton Oswalt

I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.

Quotes by Patty Duke

Dad was the first man I fell in love with. He was a very funny man. He grew up in the East End of London and was very dynamic, and I understood why my mother fell in love with him.

Quotes by Patsy Kensit

So, deadpan I think just means not acknowledging for one second that you think that this is funny and clever.

Quotes by Patrick Warburton

I got tired of books where the boy is a bit thick and the girl's very clever. Why does it have to such an opposition? Why can't they be like the girls and boys that I know personally, who are equally funny and equally cross? Who get things equally wrong and are equally brave? And make the same mistakes?

Quotes by Patrick Ness

I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers.

Quotes by Patrick Ness

I have made so many friends at Google it's not funny.

Quotes by Patrick Pichette

It's funny: when you're skating around during warm-ups, I'll see signs that say things like: 'Kane, Prom?' We have a fun, young team, and girls are asking you to the prom and giving you their numbers.

Quotes by Patrick Kane

I'm probably the guy who keeps it loose around the room and tries to joke around with guys before the game, keeping things funny.

Quotes by Patrick Kane

The Midwest breeds funny, eccentric people, to varying degrees. You play shows not because you're expecting to get a record deal, but to do something fun outside of mowing lawns. Everything else is just gravy... Or mustard.

Quotes by Patrick Carney

Experience is a funny thing. You don't always have it when you need it.

Quotes by Patrick Chan

I was intentionally curbing the impulse to be funny and hiding the ability. I wrote any number of very serious attempts at poems, short stories, novels - horrible. At a certain point, I recognized that it was fun to write dialogue that had a degree of lightness and humor.

Quotes by Patrick deWitt

It was funny because on the day that I joined the club, the newspaper that broke the news was one that people don't always trust or believe. Then, when I signed, and there were pictures of me and Sir Alex Ferguson, people believed it.

Quotes by Park Ji-sung

I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side.

Quotes by Parker Posey

When my parents were dating, they were very poor, so my dad couldn't take my mom out. They would go to the grocery store and pick out funny looking vegetables. When I grew up, we'd still go and find the ones with personality.

Quotes by Parker Posey

I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat.

Quotes by Paris Hilton

It's funny that as soon as I retired from international football, Italy won the World Cup.

Quotes by Paolo Maldini

I can't imagine bringing in somebody else to direct my show. Wouldn't that be funny, if next season I had, like, Michael Bay come in and direct 'Better Things'? I wonder what that would be like?

Quotes by Pamela Adlon

It's spelled, like, S-E-R-G. I always thought it would be funny if I called my son 'Sir.' Like calling your daughter 'Ma'am,' or something like that.

Quotes by Pamela Adlon

I am the ultimate California girl, which is funny, being that I'm Canadian.

Quotes by Pamela Anderson

My career only took off because of one football game. I thought it was funny. 'Playboy' called and offered me a cover just like that. I turned them down initially, because I was nervous about it and my boyfriend at the time didn't want me to do it, but they kept coming back, so I eventually said yes.

Quotes by Pamela Anderson

It is one thing to go on stage and be funny or be in a good place in your career, but for a woman, actually facing the elements in a physical way is a very powerful thing.

Quotes by Pamela Stephenson

I'm surrounded by friends and family who are not that impressed by celebrity. They don't have any problem telling me I'm acting like an idiot or I'm not that funny.

Quotes by Paloma Faith

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

It's funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it.

Quotes by Owen Wilson

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Quotes by Oscar Levant

I have an unfortunate personality.

Quotes by Orson Welles

I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that be?

Quotes by Orlando Bloom

I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny.

Quotes by Orlando Jones

When people say 'Charlie Chaplin' I still think now of the guy in the moustache and bowler hat and funny walk - I don't think of an old man who was my grandfather.

Quotes by Oona Chaplin

The funny thing is that I used to be a blogger, but it wasn't known as 'blogging' at that time. This was in the '99/2000 time frame.

Quotes by Om Malik

Meeting Helen Mirren was a fabulous experience. I had played it out in my mind, how I should greet her when we would be introduced. But the way we met was funny because I just didn't recognise her!

Quotes by Om Puri

If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.

Quotes by Olivia Munn

I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around.

Quotes by Olivia Munn

Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That's it. That's the only requirement.

Quotes by Olivia Munn

It is possible in this world to be pretty and funny and successful all at the same time.

Quotes by Olivia Munn

I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't.

Quotes by Olivia Munn

I'm opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It's funny - my friends would always come to me for romantic advice. I know nothing, and things have changed since I was dating in high school! I'm really trying hard to spend this time working on myself.

Quotes by Olivia Wilde

It's really kind of a luxury for an actor to have the opportunity to show such different types of characters. I actually left 'Cowboys & Aliens' and went straight into 'The Change-Up.' It was kind of a funny change of pace.

Quotes by Olivia Wilde

What is funny is when you do a futuristic movie, you immediately get to be fashionable because you're creating something that doesn't exist.

Quotes by Olivier Theyskens

If people still trust me with a funny line, then that is fine. If that is what gets me work.

Quotes by Olivia Colman

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

Quotes by Oliver Herford

I love the script and I just thought it was a great role. Like I say, it's like this - the script is like this sad, funny, desperate love song to the lost American man.

Quotes by Oliver Platt

I found Leonora Carrington's 'The Hearing Trumpet' really funny.

Quotes by Olga Tokarczuk

I like to come back to the science fiction of Stanislaw Lem. He is comforting but also funny, and although I know his books, there's always something new to discover.

Quotes by Olga Tokarczuk

Reality is like a doughnut: Everything that is good and funny and juicy is outside the center, which is just emptiness.

Quotes by Olga Tokarczuk

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Quotes by Ogden Nash

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?

Quotes by Ogden Nash

I think it's actually a misperception that I am a comedic actress. I do more drama than comedy but very little of it has been seen. When you are in big funny movies and they do well and your little part in it kind of explodes people perceive you as a comedian.

Quotes by Octavia Spencer

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