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Toilet Paper Quotes

Comedy built from the most mundane object around.

Toilet paper turns out to be a surprisingly reliable comic prop, used here to dismiss comic books, mock American bathrooms without bidets, and even joke about what a Bible is good for in a survival pinch.

Hate American toilets with only toilet paper and no bidets.

Quotes by Shenaz Treasury

The only reason I'd bring a Bible out here is if I needed toilet paper.

Quotes by Rudy Boesch

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Quotes by Rod Serling

If you're embarking around the world in a hot-air balloon, don't forget the toilet paper.

Quotes by Richard Branson

American Quotes

It used to be that comic strips were the big thing, and comic books were toilet paper.

Quotes by Neal Adams

I can tell you, going out to buy toilet paper in the U.S. is a completely predictable experience.

Quotes by Evan Osnos

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.

Quotes by Daphne Zuniga

House Republicans are flimsier than toilet paper, except toilet paper actually has use. They're so pathetic.

Quotes by Corey Stewart

France is the country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Quotes by Billy Wilder

Being Quotes

When I was about 7 years old, I built a leprechaun trap out of a cardboard box, a biscuit tin and some toilet paper tubes.

Quotes by Alex Hirsch

I really can't be bothered going to a barber. And shaving every morning, that's nightmarish. I spent my teenage years covered in tiny little bits of toilet paper.

Quotes by Alan Moore

Frequently Asked Questions

Why are toilet paper quotes usually funny rather than serious?
Toilet paper is such an ordinary, unglamorous object that comparing something to it, comic books, a Bible in the wild, or TV ad breaks, instantly reads as a punchline. Every quote on this page uses that contrast deliberately.
What's the joke in the comic books quote?
Calling old comic books "toilet paper" is a blunt way of saying they were considered disposable junk before collectors and film franchises made them valuable, a shift the quote doesn't need to spell out.
Why do people search for toilet paper quotes?
Mostly for humor, captions, social posts, or casual conversation about bathroom habits, cultural quirks like the American preference for paper over bidets, or wry commentary on advertising.
What does the documentary quote criticize?
It pokes fun at how commercial breaks, in this case ones featuring dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper, undercut the seriousness of investigative television by interrupting it every few minutes.
Are there related quotes about American habits or television?
Yes, our American quotes cover more cultural observations, and Being quotes touch on everyday complaints in a similar dry tone.

The sharpest line here isn't about bathrooms at all: it's a complaint that Big TV networks interrupt serious documentaries every twelve minutes with dancing rabbits selling toilet paper. For more everyday gripes, see our American quotes.