Toilet Quotes

On awkward and funny moments: quotes about the toilet.

These quotes lean into the toilet as a source of humor and mild embarrassment, including a prank on a film set and concern over being seen in the wrong place. See related lines on the Humor quotes page.

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

Quotes by Adrian Edmondson

We actually had a toilet on the sideline in college. We had like a little mini-toilet; we'd go and flush it.

Quotes by Adam Thielen

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Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

Quotes by Tommy Cooper

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Quotes by Rod Serling

In Michigan, a liberal democrat raised taxes and kept their government programs at the same level. And guess what? Their economy continued into the toilet, it continued down.

Quotes by Rick Perry

Sooner or later, all magazines end up in the toilet.

Quotes by Maurizio Cattelan

I'm a little thirsty, can I go drink out of your toilet?

Quotes by Mark McKinney

I am proud to say that I plastic-wrapped Bruno Ricci's toilet in his trailer.

Quotes by Kenneth Choi

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger.

Quotes by Jonny Wilkinson

Being on the toilet stool is the grossest thing there is, to me.

Quotes by John Witherspoon

Don't get married in a house where there is no toilet.

Quotes by Jairam Ramesh

I've fixed the toilet. And I've been crawling in claustrophobic places... you have to deal with that when you become a homeowner.

Quotes by J. B. Pritzker

I, made in England, felt excluded, miffed, resistant to the idea of even visiting India, a position of increasing absurdity as, one by one, backpacking friends returned from the place with the standard anecdotal combo of nirvanic epiphany and toilet...

Quotes by Glen Duncan

I told CBS, 'My career is going down the toilet, and you're pulling the chain.'

Quotes by Flip Wilson

Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show.

Quotes by Eric Carr

I've got four kids - I unblock a toilet every day.

Quotes by Eddie Marsan

I can't see myself ever spending hundreds of thousands on anything that doesn't come with a toilet.

Quotes by Dr. Dre

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.

Quotes by Daphne Zuniga

Where do you get lumpy tiles? Well, of course, you don't. But I get a lot of toilets, and so you just dispatch a toilet with a hammer, and then you have lumpy tiles.

Quotes by Dan Phillips

House Republicans are flimsier than toilet paper, except toilet paper actually has use. They're so pathetic.

Quotes by Corey Stewart

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One quote even recalls getting married in a toilet as a marriage of convenience, a memorably odd twist on a wedding story. Explore Privacy quotes or Routine quotes for more.