W C Fields Quotes

Most Famous W C Fields Quotes of All Time!

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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

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