Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs! The IT department confirmed this theory after switching back to light mode and finding three extra issues.

This meeting could have been an email. That email could have been a text. That text could have been a nod in the hallway. But here we are, hour three of the quarterly sync.

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home. I figured if he was giving me orders, I would follow them to the letter - and the letter said good day.

Why do employees bring coffee to meetings? So they have something to do with their hands while pretending to take notes. Also, it is the only thing keeping them conscious after slide forty.

I made a joke in a spreadsheet once. Nobody got it - the humor did not carry over to adjacent cells. My coworker said it lacked formula.

Someone stole my stapler at work. The whole situation just left me feeling kind of unhinged. I reported it to HR but they said the case could not be fastened together properly.

How do you know a project deadline is near? The office smells like pizza and despair. Also, everyone is wearing the same clothes they had on Monday - and it is now Friday.

What is a computer favorite snack? Microchips! They prefer the salt-and-vinegar variety, though the IT team keeps ordering plain - it is the source of constant workplace tension.

Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open! The IT department had warned about this, but the machine insisted on the fresh air. The desktop background was now a blizzard.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25! It is a perfectly logical confusion that only makes sense if you speak octal - which programmers do.