Why do French people not eat two eggs for breakfast? Because for them, one egg is un oeuf! The waiter at the Parisian cafe confirmed this was the correct portion and absolutely not negotiable.

Why do people remove their shoes at airport security? Because it is a form of sole-searching! Every traveler is forced to confront what their footwear says about them before boarding the plane.

How do you know you are in a tourist trap? The souvenir magnets cost $12, the coffee is $9, and the local dish was clearly made in a factory three countries away. But the views are gorgeous.

What do Romans use to cut pizza? Little Caesars! Historical accuracy is important when selecting pizza cutters - the ancient Romans were surprisingly specific about this in their culinary texts.

What do you call an adventurous sushi lover who travels to Japan? Really on a roll! They tried seventeen regional varieties, two mystery menus, and one fish that technically was not on the menu.

Why do Scottish people make great ambassadors? Because they are always willing to go to the highland! Also, their directness in negotiations is legendary, and nobody argues with a bagpipe.

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back? A stick! The Australian sporting goods store had a very clear return policy - ironically, it only applied to the boomerangs.