What is a pirate's favorite letter? You think it is R, but it is actually the C! They love the sea more than any letter. The R is just how they say hello - which they do at every opportunity.

Why did the pirate go to the restaurant? He heard the food was off the port side and the service was rated arr-mazing! He also had a coupon that expires at the end of the plank - today.

What is a pirate's favorite shape? An X! Every map has one, and it always marks exactly one spot, and that spot always contains something worth a very long voyage. Geometry has rarely been more motivating.

How did the pirate get his peg leg? Every pirate tells a different story! The legend grows with each telling. By the fourth version it involves three sharks, a volcano, and the Queen of France. The leg remains unexplained.

Why do pirates keep parrots on their shoulders? The parrots repeat everything the captain says, which reinforces commands, adds authority, and means the captain never has to raise their voice. Excellent management tool.

Why do pirates make people walk the plank? It is technically an outdoor fitness program! Fresh sea air, a brisk walk, and a very invigorating dive at the end. The pirates market it very differently, though.

What do pirates do with their gold? They bury it! This is technically a savings account with excellent security and the worst possible interest rate. Locating the funds requires a map and a significant shovel.