Rita Rudner Quotes

Most Famous Rita Rudner Quotes of All Time!

We have created a collection of some of the best rita-rudner quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Rita Rudner Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

I found out I had a real love for comedy and comedy writing. The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I...

I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

Popular Quotes Topics for You.

I did six Broadway shows, and I noticed there weren't many female comedians. When I went to a dancing audition, there were 1,000 girls. And there were three jobs. So I said I'll just try comedy. And I loved it.

I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after...

While I do occasionally order items on the Internet, it's hard to teach an old shopper new tricks. I'm convinced that the catalogue will eventually disappear, but not until the last baby boomers have kicked off their smelly Nikes and...

Stand-up is my favorite thing I've ever done. There's so much independence.

You are always trying to please people before you get to the public whenever you do anything that requires a corporate body to sanction it.

I'm not a person who likes authority. I just love the fact that it's up to me, and I go straight to the audience.

Barbie ruined my life! It's a really bad image for women. For a long time I thought I was deformed - because my heels didn't touch the ground. I was walking around on tiptoes. What's up with that? I think...

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

Guys, we are trying to share Unique Rita Rudner Quotes, so you will not get to read the same things again and again on our website. You can also share your favorites on Facebook or send them to a friend who loves to reading quotes.