Why did the witch fail her spelling test? Because she kept casting bad spells! Her cauldron was bubbling correctly but the written exam caught her out on some basic incantations.

Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank! The interest rates are not great but the customer service has exceptional fangs for your patronage. Also, the ATM runs only at night.

Why are mummies so good at keeping secrets? Because they are wrapped up in their own affairs! Plus, they have been doing it for three thousand years - practice makes perfect.

What do ghosts wear for Halloween? A sheet, of course! The irony of a ghost wearing a ghost costume is not lost on them - they find it very meta and also extremely convenient.

What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? Spare ribs! The waiter was unsettled by the order but delivered them professionally. The skeleton left a bone-us tip for excellent service.

Why is Frankenstein such a good listener? Because he is all ears! He also has an excellent memory, a bolt for a fashion statement, and a surprisingly warm personality once you get past the green skin.

What do you call a sad pumpkin? A pumpkin with a sad face carved into it! Or just a gourd going through some feelings. The pumpkin spice latte helps, though the therapy is mostly seasonal.