Tom Segura Quotes

Most Famous Tom Segura Quotes of All Time!

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I don't like big events and crowded areas. I'm almost a curmudgeonly old man in that aspect. I've been like that forever.

Every person learns with time and experience.

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I used to do much shorter jokes a lot more.

You should make travel as comfortable as possible.

Traveling with kids is tough. My best advice is don't do it.

I'm definitely a jaded traveler, but you try to make the best of what you know about the experience. Like, I know how to pack a bag. I know that checking a bag is for rookies.

Sleep is important for a comic - like it is for a lot of people.

It's okay for me to make jokes about disabled people and people with horrible diseases because they make me uncomfortable, and I don't want to be like them.

When you're a comic doing a special, it's like you're directing your first movie.

When you shoot a special, you have no idea what's going to happen, and the fact that I got to do the first one with Comedy Dynamics was a roll of the dice. It was a game changer for me...

If you're going to wear a cowboy hat, you're going to have to go all the way. You should have livestock around you, settle all of your disputes with a pistol, and ride a horse absolutely everywhere.

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