Chris Rock Quotes

Most Famous Chris Rock Quotes of All Time!

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There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

Hollywood's just not funny.

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.

Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.

Pretty girls have problems too.

When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.

A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.

You can only offend me if you mean something to me.

Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.

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