Chris Rock Quotes

Most Famous Chris Rock Quotes of All Time!

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I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.

Every now and then I'm in a situation where someone doesn't recognize me, and I experience racism. Things like not being buzzed into a store or sitting in first class on a plane and having someone ask to see my...

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When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.

I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.

President of the United States is you know, our boss, so you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

A man is only as faithful as his options.

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

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