Bill Engvall Quotes

Most Famous Bill Engvall Quotes of All Time!

We have created a collection of some of the best bill-engvall quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Bill Engvall Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

A lot of times you go to a concert, and when you leave, you don't know anything more about the act then when you got there.

When 'Blue Collar TV' was on the 'WB,' we were their second-highest rated show, but they didn't know what to do with us. They had 'Reba,' which was number one, and we were number two, and they didn't want to...

Popular Quotes Topics for You.

I can't count the number of times I've been sound asleep, woke up, and I was doing my hair.

I was doing a bit that stupid people should be slapped. But the more I did it, the more I didn't like that connotation, the violence and all that. The more I thought about it, I thought they should just...

I don't pick on people.

I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower.

The one thing people like about my show is it's universal. Everybody can relate to it. I think people enjoy going to a show and saying, 'Something like that happened to me.'

I'm a big animal fanatic.

I love stand up, but every year, the road takes a little more out of you.

As my wife says, I'll never fully retire, but it'll start to slow down. I'll continue to do the local gigs or go to Las Vegas. But I won't be going out to Ohio to play an Indian casino anymore....

I love playing the bitter guy.

People all over are finding themselves in jobs they never thought they'd be in.

I come from a time when people like Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby told stories that were devastatingly funny without being off-color.

No sooner my kids leave their friends than they start texting them. And it's all in code in a language I totally don't understand.

In syndication, the biggest buyers are car dealerships.

I've learned in my older age that sexy gets you further than brains.

I don't have big time celebrity friends - I'm just a guy.

Jay Leno told me once, 'Don't do jokes about things you don't know about.'

I am feeling older every day.

I have been passed over on some things because people didn't think I was edgy enough. But the people who took those gigs are gone now, and I am still here.

Guys, we are trying to share Unique Bill Engvall Quotes, so you will not get to read the same things again and again on our website. You can also share your favorites on Facebook or send them to a friend who loves to reading quotes.