Penn Jillette Quotes

Most Famous Penn Jillette Quotes of All Time!

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Magic is the Special Olympics of entertainment.

Comedy is taken care of by a free market.

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Performers have the right to say what they want to, and anyone paying money has the right to accept or reject the art and entertainment that's available.

You have in Vegas the most heterogeneous audience you're gonna get anywhere in the country. In Boston, Chicago, Miami, you know who goes to the theater. In Vegas, you have people who only see one theater show a year, and...

Poker would have never gotten on TV when we only had three networks.

Poker has the feeling of a sport, but you don't have to do push-ups.

I believe in individual rights so much that I don't like any sort of 'what's good for the cause'-type questions.

'Moxie' is a name that was created by an American for the first national soft drink and then went on to mean chutzpah, and that's nice.

It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think? They're named 'Dave.'

The secret truth of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is that it isn't very hard... 'Celebrity Apprentice' is easy like junior high is easy. All the arithmetic, the creative writing and the history are super simple, but like junior high, you do that...

No one can tell you the rules of 'Celebrity Apprentice.' No one. Donald Trump just does what he wants, which is mostly pontificating to people who are sucking up to him, while the network people try to manipulate him into...

Charities are really good. To a certain extent, the ones you pick are arbitrary.

If you want to turn out an atheist child, unconditional love constantly is a good way to do it.

If I had to imagine omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent power in the universe that chose to make my mother suffer, I don't know how I would make that make sense in the universe.

If you spend a lot of time lying to people, you think a lot about what the truth means.

In reality, many people let go of religion later in life.

It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on.

I like things matching. I have an upright bass, a drum kit and a grand piano that's the same color. I tend to overthink things.

I'm very happy being big and effeminate.

My hair is way, way long. I've hitchhiked across the country a zillion times. I've ridden in every car. I was never a hippie. It takes more than long hair.

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