Top 10 Steve Allen Quotes

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Many comedians and comedy writers have shared the childhood experience of learning to joke to protect themselves from neighborhood bullies when challenge or physical defense were not among the sensible options.

Do I ever get questions that are rude or impertinent? Yes, but I love to use them. The audience immediately perceives the emotional awkwardness of the situation.

I was in sixth grade the first time I was required to speak in front of an audience. I had terrible stage fright and felt quite ill, in fact, by the time I had to give my little talk to students in another class across the hall.

If we do not know what humor is, that may be because we do not know what humankind is.

We will take almost any kind of criticism except the observation that we have no sense of humor.

Much of the best humor is found in the frequently tragic reality of human experience.

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

The hair is real - it's the head that's a fake.

Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.

Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.

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