Top 10 Robert Benchley Quotes

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Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off.

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

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