Top 10 Paul Merton Quotes

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I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'.

Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it.

I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy.

I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place.

I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.

Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.

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