Top 10 Michelle Wolf Quotes

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As a woman, I have access to hit women in a way that men might not be able to hit them with jokes. I don't mean physically hit. But you know, because I'm a woman, I can say things about women because I know what it's like to be a woman, if that makes any sense.

I would love to be a dad. There are plenty of comedians who have kids. But they're dads. Being a dad is so different from being a mom.

A good joke can work in New York and Kentucky.

I always almost miss my flight. My routine is to constantly, no matter how bad or good the traffic is, to almost miss my flight.

When I'm on the road, I eat like I'm on the third day of a hiking trip all the time. I'm eating beef jerky and trail mix constantly.

I think I'm a good joke writer. I'm also very scared that the last joke I wrote is the last joke I'll ever write.

The more confident I am, the more daring I am.

People can be successful for a short period of time, but only a handful of people are successful for decades.

Writing and telling jokes is my favorite thing to do, and I want to be able to do that forever.

Some comedy has turned into, 'Donald Trump's bad, isn't he?' That's a true statement. But where is your joke?

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