Top 10 Jimmy Carr Quotes

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They say the people most affected by the credit crunch are pensioners - well, let go of the handbag then, Nanna.

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

I don't see myself as offending people.

I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.

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