Top 10 Groucho Marx Quotes

Most Famous Top 10 Groucho Marx Quotes of All Time!

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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

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