Top 10 Erma Bombeck Quotes

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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

God created man, but I could do better.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

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