Top 10 Bill Maher Quotes

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The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.

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