Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Most Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotes of All Time!

We have created a collection of some of the best rodney-dangerfield quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Rodney Dangerfield Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

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