Louis C K Quotes

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If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.

When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.

I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.

I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.

I was an awkward kid.

Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.

I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of grades in high school.

Oh, I love stand-up.

The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.

I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now.

You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'

I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum.

Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.

When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.

Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people.

There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.'

I like pressure. Pressure doesn't make me crack. It's enabling. I eat pressure, and there might be times when I get a bad feeling in my gut that this might be too much, but you feel pressure when you're not doing something, you know?

To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.

Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.

When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.

Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.'

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