Kristen Schaal Quotes

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I never really saw myself as a standup comedian. I always just thought of myself as someone who used the eight minutes or 10 minutes she was allotted and had a blast.

I definitely do weird things every show.

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You go from nobody looking at you to people taking second looks. I remember really loving it - and then feeling so guilty for loving it. Like, 'That's gross, Kristen.' Also, telling myself it could go away at any moment,...

I used to go to open mics in New York when I was starting out, and it was mostly just people who wanted an audience to look at them for eight minutes on a stage.

Being a correspondent on 'The Daily Show' is some combination of doing a character and doing stand-up. It's a juggling act to find a balance between being you and playing a role.

It's not hard to be a woman in comedy as long as you're also a writer. You have to create your opportunity.

The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy because gender doesn't define sense of humor. Imagination and intelligence and perspective do.

I would love for people to know that the label 'feminist' is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

Bad improv happens with people who are inexperienced with each other and don't know the craft that well. But bad stand-up is something that could happen to someone at any level in their career.

I would never bring a kid to a comedy show myself, but I have noticed that I can't stop other people from bringing their kids.

Animals in general have sparked a weird depression in me, because as much as I tried, I couldn't layer a personality over them. You know what I mean? I would stare at the cows, and I would sing to the...

I probably shouldn't say this about all animals, but at least the farm animals that I've hung out with, and even when I go to the zoo usually, they're like a blank slate. I guess that's why I like them....

I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that's exactly what you'll get at a comedy club. If you can...

In the U.K., there's absolutely no money for television. So you can do pretty much whatever you want. They're not losing money on any of the shows, so they'll give you a lot of creative freedom. In the United States,...

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