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Howard Jacobson Quotes

Most Famous Howard Jacobson Quotes of All Time!

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To any young person starting out on life and looking to make a quick fortune, I have this advice: forget banking, but go instead into security, scaffolding, or urban trench digging. Not in a hands-on way. I mean start a...

Certainly a curtain has never fallen too soon for me. Every play is too long, even the short ones. Every concert, every film, every television programme the same.

Let's be honest with one another: almost everything is too long except life, and I know people who wouldn't even concur with that exception.

It's a law of our natures, especially when the political fit is on us, to applaud where we already approve, and deride where we don't.

The young come in many guises: vigorous and passionate, vindictive and mean-spirited. And not every person over 65 is dozing in a retirement home.

It's not only teenagers who think they look good in pre-holed jeans, and I doubt it's only the superannuated who are amused by Ant and Dec.

Let discernment in matters of fashion and entertainment determine who should get the vote, and half the country would be disenfranchised.

Alarm bells ring when a politician stands haughty upon his honour.

Not every anti-Semite is Joseph Goebbels. You can not like Jews much and be no great harm to them.

Alone of prejudices, anti-Zionism is sacrosanct. How very dare we distinguish the motivation of one sort from another? Or question, in any instance, an anti-Zionist's good faith? In fact, what determines whether anti-Zionism is anti-Semitic is the nature of it.

The Stop The War Coalition is a sort of home to Jew-haters because its hate music about Israel is so catchy.

The environment in which I studied was so safe, I thought I would die from the boredom of it.

I had worked on the markets with my father before going to university, so I possessed an apparent street-smartness, had access to a colourful costermonger vocabulary, and tried passing myself off as a bit of spiv. But my contemporaries saw...

Sensitivity doesn't necessarily make you easy to get on with.

Many a woman has suffered at the hands of a Paul Morel. There's more than one way of being brutal.

Of my old tendency to overdo the dedication and deface the title page with florid compliments and obscure quotes which the recipient cannot read, I will say only that I learnt my lesson when I had to shell out with...

Imagine the anticlimax of opening a novel you'd just got Dostoyevsky to sign and finding 'Keep smiling - Fyodor.'

It's a weakness of mine to forget what it is I've just been talking about so that when people make witty allusions to it, I stare at them open-mouthed, not knowing what they're talking about.

A writer should never allow himself to be lulled out of the vigilance native to his profession.

In anticipation of a meal - supposing we are with the ideal companion at the best table in the perfect restaurant - we might indeed postpone sadness. And maybe even halfway through, we will remain in tolerably high spirits, with...

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