Top 10 Howard Jacobson Quotes

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There's a problem with narratives. Most that spring to mind are fictional.

Artless fairy stories enchant us in our first years and retain their hold on us until our last.

Non-conformity has always been one of the great British virtues, and that includes non-conformity to things British.

The terrorist isn't a problem because he doesn't conform; he's a problem because he does. It's what he conforms to that makes him dangerous.

For my own poor part, I go to great lengths to keep my nostrils sightly.

We shouldn't be too hard on vanity. It can be a mark of respect for the world.

The day I don't attend to my nostrils is the day I will have forsworn that world and become a different person. Someone otherwise preoccupied. Someone who couldn't care less what anyone thinks of his appearance - someone for whom the material life has lost its appeal.

Show me a university which is a hotbed of thin-skinned offence-taking, where every unacceptable idea is policed and every person who happens to hold one is hounded out of a job, and I will show you a university that isn't a university but an ideological prison camp and indoctrination centre.

You know you are grown sentimental when you start counting the cygnets on the duck pond in the park to be sure none has perished since you counted last.

Sentimentality works by our seeing only what we want to see.

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