Hasan Minhaj Quotes

Most Famous Hasan Minhaj Quotes of All Time!

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Donald Trump is not a 71-year-old white man. He is an Indian uncle. He wears suits that don't fit; he can't speak English properly. He works with his idiotic sons; he hates women but loves his daughter. He makes up...

I'm not a Larry David. I don't have a 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and a 'Seinfeld' in me.

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I can't emphasize how important free speech is to a liberal and free democracy.

A lot of people in the media say that Donald Trump goes golfing too much, which raises a very important question: Why do you care? Do you want to know what he's not doing when he's golfing? Being president. Let...

Donald Trump is liar-in-chief.

U.S.A. Today is what happens when the coupon section takes over the newspaper.

As a Muslim, I like to watch Fox News for the same reason I like to play 'Call of Duty.' Sometimes, I like to turn my brain off and watch strangers insult my family and heritage.

Only in America can the first-generation Indian American Muslim kid get on the stage and make fun of the president.

Sean Spicer has somehow been doing PR since 1999, which is 18 years. Somehow, after 18 years, his go-to move was denying the Holocaust.

Donald Trump doesn't care about free speech. The man who tweets everything that enters his head doesn't care about the amendment which lets him do that.

Every time Trump goes golfing, the headline should read, 'Trump Goes Golfing. Apocalypse Delayed.'

Everything isn't breaking news. You can't go to DEFCON One just because Sanjay Gupta found a new moisturizer.

Every time I watch CNN, it feels like you're assigning me homework. Is Trump a Russian spy? I don't know. You tell me - I'm watching the news. It feels like I'm watching CNN watch the news. Just take an...

Every time a U.S.A. Today slides underneath my door, it's like they're saying, 'Hey, you're not that smart, right?'

It is 2017, and we are living in the golden age of lying.

Sean Spicer gives press briefings like someone is going through his browser history while he watches.

I look like a melanin version of Chris Hayes.

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