Ari Shaffir Quotes

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Being Orthodox Jewish is kind of like being raised on like network sitcoms.

I'm not as much a fan of the venues as I am the comics who inhabit them. I don't care if it's a bomb shelter, a bus, or a theater, if I'm watching somebody who makes me laugh, I'm down.

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I genuinely like haggis. Everybody told me I was supposed to hate it, but I really did enjoy it.

I'm pretty much only friends with comedians.

I'm a bit of an introvert, so after talking for an hour and then shaking hands and taking pictures with the people who came out, I kind of need to be alone for a bit to get away from all...

It's not like I have campaigns, I don't want to be an activist or anything.

People get mad at bad comedy. Way more mad than at bad novels.

I hate being rejected.

I was playing basketball, and I had hemorrhoids in high school.

Everyone in L.A. talks about getting an agent or a manager in terms of getting on a sitcom or getting on a movie or doing something else.

I know how lazy I am. So if I have to go somewhere else I can't get to easily, I talk myself out of it.

I love doing my podcast, but it's not my art form. I don't have to work on it. It's off the cuff.

If I focus solely on developing new material, then I can get a new 45 minute to an hour in about six months. Then I'll work on it and work on it and can make it killer within another six...

Failing is part of my process. A new bit never works the first time. I figure I have to bomb 7 times to make it good. So I tweak it.

To me, every time it goes badly I see it as a good thing - because that means I'm one step closer to where I want to be.

I was on the outside of the industry. So I started a podcast early in the podcast boom and that caught on a little. I made an album that went to No. 1 on the iTunes charts. I made my...

I'm just a weird mix of immature and intelligent and I like to share my point of view and who I am.

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