Andy Rooney Quotes

Most Famous Andy Rooney Quotes of All Time!

We have created a collection of some of the best andy-rooney quotes so you can read and share anytime with your friends and family. Share our Top 10 Andy Rooney Quotes on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

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Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't...

I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else...

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.

The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there...

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.

Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.

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