Andy Rooney Quotes

Most Famous Andy Rooney Quotes of All Time!

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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be...

The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

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