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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Most Famous Ambrose Bierce Quotes of All Time!

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Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.

Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

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