Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Most Famous Ambrose Bierce Quotes of All Time!

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Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice,...

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

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Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.

Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.

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