Top 10 Phyllis Diller Quotes

Most Famous Top 10 Phyllis Diller Quotes of All Time!

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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

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